Being in the dark or stuck in the fog, has its gifts, it is how we get to the light. Without the uncertainty their would be no clarity. What do you learn by sitting in the dark, by living in the fog?
I live in Seattle. The fog the last week has been uncharacteristically creepy to some. It has been lingering far past the morning burn off stage and far into the afternoon, even appearing again in the evening. Driving the kids to school this week has required extra caution as my visibility has been less than fifty yards.
When some are finding it creepy I am finding it mysterious and affirming, wonderful and romantic, soothing and inspiring. I am aware of how the weather can determine one’s mood, especially living in the Northwest and especially having people in my life who have SAD. (Seasonal Affective Disorder.) This winter depression is not helped along by long dark days.
That being said, I love the grey. Looking out my window and not being able to see down the street doesn’t creep me out, I am comforted. Now, prolonged darkness in my mind, that’s another thing. I love to be drawn within to ponder and reflect, but to sit in ambiguity until the fog clears so to speak, can be uncomfortable.
On Wednesday afternoon the Puget Sound was covered in fog, particularly Duwamish Bay, but above it the Seattle skyline sparked in the sunlight. I was curious about the folks in boats and traveling via water taxi or ferry. Could they see where they were going? Did they feel lost, unanchored? Does this happen to you?
We often don’t know where we are going. We have a destination in mind but the outcome is not certain. Obscurity hovers over us. As much as I like the fog outside my window, I don’t like swimming in ambiguity in my life. Certainty provides greater comfort. The only way I can get through the fog in my own life is to breath clarity into the dark corners by holding on to my center. To hold a belief within. A belief that carries the candle of hope, the faith of something bigger than me. When I consciously take time to connect to this place of Grace within, the lighthouse of my soul is no longer distracted by the darkness but only encouraged by the possibility of light.
Without the fog in my life I wouldn’t get to the blue sky. The uncertainty is a gift that I don’t see until the light shines through the clouds.
How do you dance with uncertainty and ambiguity in your life? Does it make you run and hide or does it force you to hang on, to find your center and move forward into the light?
