Mama is Filling Her Cup

No blog today dear Holders of the Cup! Mama and Papa got out of town.

No blog today dear Holders of the Cup!
Mama and Papa got out of town. What do you need to do today to take care of you? Listen. Then go, do and be. Pic taken from our deck. See you here, next week. Cheers!

 

 

Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat, Mindfulness. Wednesday October 12, 2016

Mark your calendar and signup today, October 12th in West Seattle. 9:30 - 2:00 (No one will even no you are gone, but when you come back, everyone will feel the difference in you for putting you first.)

Mark your calendar and signup today,                                     October 12th in West Seattle. 9:30 – 2:00
(No one will even no you are gone, but when you come back, everyone will feel the difference. When we take time for ourselves, all in our world benefit.)

 

What are these mini-retreats all about?

Mama Needs A Refill Sack Lunch Mini-Retreats are about taking a break from taking care of others and turning inward to take care of you. Summer is over, new season. With kids back to school and autumn in the air we often jump into the next season without taking a time out for ourselves. A time to pause. When we are running around from one thing to the next we feel the pressure to keep going. It is in the stillness that we hear our own wisdom within. And when we give ourselves permission to slow down it takes the bite off of all of the responsibilities on our list. It puts things in perspective. When you breathe, everyone around you feels it. And that’s a good thing. Each mini-retreat provides both time to share in an intimate group and silent time. Optional private one-on-one life coaching session or inspirational card reading. Think of it as taking a break for you without leaving town.

 

Laugh, Share, Create, Receive. Simply Be.

Bring a sack lunch, open mind, journal and leave your worries at the front door as we gather in a private West Seattle home.

 

Here is what some women have to say about attending a Mini-Retreat:

Reita J, says: I  signed up for my first ever retreat not quite sure what to expect but very much looking forward to some time away and unplugged. Boy was I WRONG! I ended up getting more plugged more plugged in to MYSELF and it felt absolutely amazing. The atmosphere was just perfect. Jenny is such a warm and caring coach and leader it’s like she knew exactly what each of us ladies at the retreat needed. I definitely lfeft feeling more at peace, with my cup overflowing.

 

Sonya E. shares:  Thank you Jenny! This is my third Mama Needs a Refill retreat and it won’t be my last! I love having a few hours tucked away to focus on me and my happiness, which of course in the end means more happiness for my entire family and others around me. Each retreat, I have felt thankful to have had that time to really breathe and just be, and each time I have come away with a new tidbit of insight inbto being a better mom, a better wire and a better me. Thank you. Thank you.

 

Amy A. offers: These retreats are like a day spa for the soul. (Six time attendee, signed up for seventh.)

 

Cost $125 (Register before 10/7, pay $85). To Register contact Jenny: 206 255 0463 or info@mamaneedsarefill.com.

Friday’s Free Refill: Practicing just rolling with it!

Order is important to me, but it's not important to everyone I live with. It's about understanding and valuing everyone's individual needs. For me the anal one it's about appreciating both order and chaos for neither is better than the other. (In my anal eyes yes, of course one is better, but I am learning this doesn't have to be my truth.)

Order is important to me, but it’s not important to everyone I live with. It’s about understanding and valuing everyone’s individual needs. For me the anal one it’s about appreciating both order and chaos for neither is better than the other. (In my anal eyes yes, of course one is better, but I am learning this doesn’t have to be my truth.)

I can be a little anal. It’s okay, I don’t mind. This is part of me and I appreciate this part of me and it makes for lots of laughter in our home. Once I learned how to find the humor in it, that is.

I like my salt and pepper shakers lined up a certain way. Hubby likes to move them once in awhile, just to see if I really notice. I notice. There is only one place for my glassy babies on the window sill. On the left side. Next to the glass hearts. One inch apart. Everyone in the family honors it and doesn’t touch them. The kitchen window sill is my little altar that looks out to the deck and yard, I look out here a lot, as I seem to always be in front of the sink, doing dishes, washing fruit, scrubbing vegetables. Mess with the pillows on the couch and I may not give you the stink eye, but I will quietly put them back at the right angle, lined up exaclty so. Pillows have there place. Every member of the family, has their own thought as to the best place, as a result the pillows are moved around constantly, I am learning to roll with it. Everything takes practice right? So I get a lot of practice.

Anyone out there relating to this?

When my husband started leaving the empty toilet paper roll on the bathroom window sill, I got a little annoyed. See he changes out the roll when there is still a little bit of toilet paper left. His thinking is that it isn’t enough for someone to actually use while seated on the throne, not ready to be recycled, and that someone can use the little bit of toilet paper to blow there nose or wipe up toothpaste off the sink. He is being conscientious. He thinks it’s wasteful to throw away.

Miss Anal here doesn’t like anything on the counter let alone the window sill, unless it is a candle. I had gotten in the habit of throwing away the toilet paper roll with a little bit of toilet paper left on it, too impatient to wait until someone used it.

Last week, there it was, haunting me, calling my name, tempting me to throw it away even with only enough t.p. on it to blow one nostril. Who blows one nostril? Take a breath. What do I do? It bothers me sitting there. But is it really harming me or anyone to have it sitting there on the window sill? I leave it. Yep, every can change. It is just a toilet paper roll. Someone will use it and I will wait for hubby to recycle it. I don’t have to get it and bring it to the recycle bin in the kitchen. I am choosing not to throw it away in the bathroom garbage can, which would be so easy. It’s what I always do. Not this time.

One day passes. Two days pass. Doesn’t anyone need two small squares of toilet paper? I wondered as I breathed. I left it there for probably five days, then magically it was gone. One day, I don’t know when, it disappeared. There was never a discussion. No drama over me getting upset about it being there. No drama about me being wasteful. Did it kill me to leave it there? Nope. It was a practice in patience. Did I appreciate someone recycling it? Absolutely. It was a practice of gratitude. Did I honor my husband’s desire to not be wasteful? Yep.

I would get my panties all in a bundle over hubby leaving it there, not even grateful he changed out the whole roll. We think we do everything around the house and no body cares. The thing is we do everything because we don’t give anyone else a chance and because honestly, often we are the only one who notices and who places such importance on it.

This one is to all the teachers of us anal retentive folks. This one is also to all of us anal ones who place value on order. We can teach each other. No one is right, no one is wrong. We can all live together, with lots and lots of practice on learning how to be patient with one another.

Cheers!

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463. Able to join us for the next mini-retreat Wednesday October 12th, 9:30 – 2 pm  (new time, ½ hour longer more of you time) in West Seattle?

Friday’s Free Refill: I Don’t Have to Own it and Neither Do You!

Back to school is a time of transition for the whole family. Be gentle to yourself so that you can be gentle with those kiddos, ready to forgive and be present to them.

Back to school is a time of transition for the whole family. Be gentle to yourself so that you can be patient with those kiddos, especially when they are being but-heads, ready to forgive and be present to them.

School started Wednesday for my kiddos. My youngest, began his 6th grade year with trepidation. His anxious self couldn’t sleep Tuesday night, his eager to please, determined to be organized self, couldn’t relax Wednesday night doing his homework. He had the task to read for thirty minutes, which he completed on his own without my involvement and then he was instructed to go over his class syllabus with a parent, who would then sign the document. This is where I came in. He invited me to sit next to him so we could read the class expectations together. Our signatures would complete the text. Well, we barely got through the first paragraph. Translation, he spat out evil words and grew horns and I even saw a little bit of a pointy tail sneak out from behind him. I was reading too slowly.

He was impatient with my reading pace. He spat, barked, snarled. Instead of spatting, barking and snarling back, as I definitely felt the urge, I quietly stood up.

“Your dad is downstairs and available to assist you with this, I will be taking the dog for a walk.”

Son agreed it would be best if I went for a walk. He was so mad at me not being on a faster track that he was happy to see me go. He wanted this assignment done now.

On my walk I didn’t spat or bark, but I allowed myself to feel and I released my anger, frustration and sadness. When I returned through the front door 25 minutes later, guess who greeted me with an apology? Yep, the son. Instead of telling him how crappy he treated me and how frustrated and annoyed I was, I said, “Thank you so much, I accept your apology. All good. Let’s start fresh.” He agreed as he confessed to being tired and anxious to get to bed.

Thursday morning at the bus stop the horns and tail appeared fast and furious as the son and I discussed where our pick up spot would be after school so that I could take him to soccer. I began to say goodbye and let him know I would be walking away.

“Please don’t leave, I am nervous about waiting at the stop alone.”

Ohhhhh. So that’s why you are treating me like crap for the second time in a twelve hour period, I said to myself under my breath.

“I had no idea you were nervous, I thought you wanted to wait at the bus alone, like we discussed. I am happy to stay.”

“Actually, even though I said this year you didn’t have to walk me to the bus, will you please stay until the bus gets here?”

His tone didn’t match his words. He was super agitated over our after school pick up plan, each not understanding the other’s pick up location. (A quick reminder to me of male vs female when it comes to giving directions.)

Remember to breathe. It has greater power to

Remember to breathe. It has greater power than you realize to shift a situation, alter your perception and calm you as it brings you into the present moment.

I breathed. I rooted my feet to the ground, feeling my toes in my rain boots. I let go of the fact that he is in 6th grade and how it might look to older kids, parents, anyone else who would even care that his mother is standing with him. My feelings were probably giving off an energy that was feeding his nerves. His nerves already wound so tight. His frustration so high, he didn’t necessarily start talking nicely. I let it go. It wasn’t about me.

I waved to Julius, the best bus driver ever, whom I have been saying good morning to every school day for the last two years. Son didn’t get a wave, I didn’t feel like giving it with his tail poking me hard. I still said goodbye, I still smiled, but if he wasn’t looking out the window, I didn’t have to wave. I walked with the dog down the street. I started my grateful thoughts of thinking of everything I was grateful for, yes, even the devil-like boy of mine. Morning drama behind me, fifteen minutes into my walk I thought of my son and in that moment got a feeling that I should pull my phone out of my pocket. I wasn’t expecting a call or text, but I had a feeling.  Mother’s intuition.

Bingo. Feeling was right. Guess who texted me an apology? Guess who texted back an acceptance of that apology? Yep.

Mamas, their drama don’t have to be yours. Trust your gut. Learn to let go.  Forgive. Take care of you during this time of transition so that you can give your best you for those little and big lovable devils in your life.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463. Able to join us for the next mini-retreat Wednesday October 12th, 10 – 2 pm in West Seattle?

Friday’s Free Refill: Only Me

Surround by trees, only the sound of running water and the wisdom within, and my buddy Buford. All a girl needs.

Surround by trees, only the sound of running water and the wisdom within, and my buddy Buford. All a girl needs.

I escaped on Monday and didn’t come back until Wednesday. I dusted off my favorite cds, packed food I liked in the cooler and with my dog as my only companion, I headed east. I create retreats for women so it seemed quite fitting that I take one for myself. It’s all in the research. One must practice what one preaches. Plus, I really needed a break. Time to hit the Refresh Button!

I was fortunate to have the use of my friend’s vacation home. This oasis set against the backdrop of trees and mountains, only an hour and a half drive from my Seattle home allowed me the solitude I had been craving all summer long.  Blaring the Dixie Chicks on I-90, singing at the top of my lungs:

 

 

Who doesn’t know what I’m talking about

Who’s never left home, who’s never struck out

To find a dream and a life of their own

A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone

The lyrics calling me back to my younger self, stirring up freedom. I was free to be Jenny. Not mom, wife, teacher, coach, friend, daughter, just Jenny. Oh, yes, I loved country music, I loved pretending I could sing harmony. The windows open wide, the wind in my hair, I was the crazy mama escaping town in her mini-van, and I was remembering how much I liked hanging out with me, myself and I. Exhaling deeply, as I cranked the music louder and belted out more Wide Open Spaces lyrics:

She needs wide open spaces

Room to make her big mistakes

She needs new faces

She knows the high stakes

The place I fell asleep, the place where I had to only show up for myself.

The place I fell asleep, the place where I had to only show up for myself.

My 46 hours alone was filled with exactly what I wanted. Wide open spaces were open to me and I received. In a five bedroom home all to myself, I could take up space, lots of space. I was the only thing on the agenda. Being a list maker, I asked myself, “What do I want to accomplish and how do I want to spend my time?” One who gets easily distracted I wanted to be focused as well as open to possibility. I got still as I allowed the answers to come: walks, meditation, writing, steam room, time outside… In my awareness I ended up turning off my phone for six hours, too easily pulled into other’s needs and unnecessary distractions. Near the end of those six hours I discovered I need some fun. A girl can only have enough silence and clarity. It was time for some dancing. The Bee Gees and Diana Ross took care of that. Who knew I could dance without the aid of alcohol or a dance partner? Oh, if the deer and trees could talk.

Such a moment of grace to meet a wild animal face to face.

Such a moment of grace to meet a wild animal face to face.

Giving myself permission. Allowing myself to be. Listening to the nudges to draw, go for another walk, sit and read, put up my feet and nap, sing loudly – all reminded me of who I am and what I love. I am the lover of music, waterfalls, the steam room set to 115 degrees for 12 minutes twice daily, following new paths in the woods and along the river, being alone. All things I don’t partake in daily. I don’t have a waterfall, deer, wild turkeys or a steam room in my backyard, however, I do have the ability to play music and dance alone. I do have the ability to create wide open spaces in my heart even in my small home I share with my hubby and two kiddos. It is about listening, allowing and honoring.

Wide open spaces.

Wide open spaces.

Back at home my solo retreat experience was a part of me, supporting, guiding and nurturing. The result? A more present, calmer version of myself. Ready to be mom. Ready to wear all my hats bringing more of Jenny to each role.

Maybe you can’t get away for 46 hours, but can you give yourself 10 minutes a day to find your best version of you in a wide open space? Get still. Ask for what you need and desire. Listen. Allow. Then honor all parts of you.

I create four mini-reteats a year with a small group of women. That is what Mama Needs ARefill is all about. If you are looking to create your own solo retreat, let’s talk, I’d love to help you create your own Wide Open Space. To paraphrase the Dixie Chicks, a place, “To find a dream and a life of your own, a place in the clouds, your foundation of stone.”

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463. Next mini-retreat, Friday October 14, 2016.

Friday’s Free Refill: Don’t Guess, Ask, Allow

We want to control what happen to our kiddos but holding their hand to tightly prevents them from having the falls, adventures, lessons, life they need.

We want to control what happens to our kiddos, but holding their hand too tightly prevents them from having the falls, adventures, lessons, and life they are here to live.

We know our kids. We anticipate their words, expect their actions and know without a shadow of a doubt how they will respond. Oh, boy have I ever underestimated and overestimated their truth, missing the mark a thousand times with my assumptions.

 

My teenage daughter, starting her freshman year of high school next week, is teaching me that I don’t fully know her. Phew. There is so much to her, how could I possibly? I know a glimpse. She is showing me new parts of her beautiful, multifaceted self. She is enlightening me every day that she is full of possibility. As she grows, changes and blossoms, I step back and watch instead of jumping in and fixing, expecting, anticipating and assuming.  As I step back, I allow.

 

We gave birth to our children but our job is to allow them to grow their own wings.

We gave birth to our children, but our job is to allow them to grow their own wings.

My sweet bird, her nick-name given at birth, had high school soccer tryouts this week. It was a tryout for all of us. Mom. Dad. Brother and oh, yes, her the athlete. Her dad and I were wrapped up in it all.  We weren’t even at the soccer field, but we wanted to share, support and protect. We “knew” what she needed. In reality, we need to shut the F’ up and let her tryout unfold naturally without our 2 cents. With dad, a soccer player his whole life and her former coach, her number one fan, away on business, he would call each night in hopes of an update, a check-in on how it all went. At home her brother and I wanted to know too. How did it go? Her brother asked each night at dinner.

 

It was clear we were asking too much. One look from our Scorpio daughter, I knew to not ask any more questions.

Later in the kitchen after that first day of practice, minding my own business, she came to me in tears. She thought she hadn’t done her best. (I allowed her to cry and waited until she asked me for a hug. Not a crier, she thanked me for letting her cry.) The next night, no tears, but she didn’t feel confident. (I gave her a short mom cheer of believing in her and then remembered what a friend said to me earlier that day that that’s what girls do, “think they didn’t do well.”) Then the morning of the last tryout her club soccer coach sent an email to all the girls trying out for high school. It was really a great email for me, the mama. She talked about coaches seeing only a “snapshot” of a player and that not all coaches see the same “snapshot.”

 

Sweet Bird’s snapshot landed her on the JVC team. 60 girls trying out for 45 spots. Oh, man the hormones and energy on that field, I can only imagine. The results were emailed to us late at night when the whole house was asleep. In the morning, I read the results, wondering if my daughter had seen it yet, wondered how she felt. Should I wake her? Should I write her a letter and slip it under her door? Should I fix her favorite breakfast? I breathed. I didn’t need to guess what she needed and instead needed to allow her to tell me. I didn’t need to assume her reaction I needed to let it happen.

 

We need to get out of our children's way so they can forge their own path.

We need to get out of our children’s way so they can forge their own path.

I left the house before she woke and texted her to reach out when she was awake. When we spoke on the phone a couple of hours after I had left the house I didn’t need to greet her with sappy, “oh, sorry babe, how you doin’ babe” love. I let her say, “You probably know I made the C team?” I simply said, “Yes, Congratulations.” We didn’t know where she would land, but we were probably all hoping and think JV.

 

Her next words, were clear, grown up, direct. “I have a goal to make JV by the end of the season.”

 

I told her that was a great goal. I thought about asking what she needed me to do for her, but it was clear, she got this. I wasn’t needed to create a plan, motivate, inspire, console. Just listen.

 

Here’s the thing, I wanted to say a whole lot more. I bit my tongue. She was clearly happy with landing on the JVC team and she had a plan, I didn’t need to say anything.

 

We want our kids to be happy and we think we know what they need. We are often very wrong. Sweet Bird was receiving just what she needed. This is her soccer path. Not her dad’s, not mine, but hers alone. It is killing her dad, not that she made JVC, but that now she has to be self-motivated. He believes he is her (they do both play a kick ass defending position on the field) and is questioning her self-motivation. He asked me (he never asks me this stuff) to coach him on this. And I told him that the best thing he can do is nothing. Allow her to figure it out. He hated this, but says he will try.

 

I want to tell our son things because he is me, hubby wants to tell our daughter things because she is him. That is where we need to STOP. They are parts of us, but they are them. When we allow them to fall and pick themselves up we are doing the best thing we can. Allowing this process kills us parents, right? We need to allow it to grow us because it certainly grows our children, we know this. We may just not want to live this.

 

What would happen if you didn’t anticipate your child’s reaction and you allowed them to figure out their own response before you interject yours?

 

We gave our children life, but they get to discover and grow their own wings.

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Friendly Connection

 

We often allow the busy responsibility of motherhood to get in the way of nurturing our friendships. It doesn't have to be this way.

We often allow the busy responsibility of motherhood to get in the way of nurturing our friendships. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Yesterday morning was mine. No one had to be at swim team, a wellness-check doctor visit, a soccer practice or some other scheduled event. I made two dates. Breakfast with one friend, pedicure appointment with another and left the kids at home.

So good to laugh. So wonderful to be heard, to listen, to share, to be in the company of a girlfriend who understands with humor, compassion and grace.

Although the breakfast was absolutely delicious, the coffee strong, it wasn’t the food and drink that filled my cup, it was the connection across the table. My friend and I vented, created plans, supported one another with our presence.

Later in the morning, even though my new sky blue pedicure makes me smile it wasn’t having the dead skin scrubbed off my feet that filled my cup. It was the shared conversation. It was the kindred connection.

I don’t know about you, but summertime at my house is mostly about the kids busy schedule and family time. Although wonderful, sometimes draining. When and how do you find connection? Is it through your friendships? And if yes, how do you nurture those friendships in the season of “everyone home from school”?

If you need a nudge, reach out to a friend today. A phone call, a text, a letter, or stop by her house and surprise her. Make one step today toward connection, if you are feeling a little out of sorts, you will find yourself again, I am certain.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Book It

 

Dear Holders of the Cup, No blog today. Instead I used my blog time to work on my book, the one brewing inside of me, the one I am writing for you, for me, for all who can use a refill. If you are having a challenge to find time to do what you love, is there something you can give up to make room?  Happy Cup Fillin’! Cheers! Jenny

Dear Holders of the Cup,
No blog today. Instead I used my blog time to work on my book, the one brewing inside of me, the one I am writing for you, for me, for all who can use a refill. If you are having a challenge to find time to do what you love, is there something you can give up to make room? 
Happy Cup Fillin’!
Cheers! Jenny

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

 

Friday’s Free Refill: Thank You, That Made My Day

After dinner coffee. This week at a birthday celebration dinner for a friend she went around the table and thanked each girlfriend for being in her life, sharing how their paths connected. Some of us itched when it was our turn to be spoken of, but deep down the acknowledgment filled us all up to overflowing.

After dinner coffee. This week at a birthday celebration dinner for a friend she went around the table and thanked each girlfriend for being in her life, sharing how their paths connected. Some of us itched when it was our turn to be spoken of, but deep down the acknowledgment filled us all up to overflowing.

Receiving is necessary. Difficult for many but oh, so necessary. When someone says to you, “You look great”. We often rebut with, “Oh, I need a hair cut, I haven’t showered in days, I have never been fatter.”  Or my common go to reaction, “Are you high?”

If they tell us, “You are a good mom,” we may counter with, “You should have heard me an hour ago yelling at my kids.”

What happened to, “Thank you?”  

“Thank you for saying that. What a nice thing to say, I needed that. I appreciate that, thanks so much.”  All responses that invite receiving.

Instead of breathing in another’s gift of love and affirmation, we push it away.

If someone bought you a lovely gift from Nordstrom, wrapped it with a pretty bow and gave it to you on your birthday, would you say, “Oh no, I don’t deserve this take it back immediately?”  Probably, not.

Words of affirmation in my book are far more priceless than something that comes in a gift box. They open us up on deep leve. The words validate and say, “Hey, I see you. Hi, you are doing a wonderful job. You are showing up in this world beautifully. By the way, you rock!”

Instead we crumble them up and throw them back in their face. We basically tell them they are wrong then we turn around and compliment them on how great they are. What if a smile, a hug, a thank you, was the return gift? You empower another with a thank you. People love to give, especially women, so when you receive their compliment, words of praise, it is an opportunity to allow someone else to give.

In receiving you allow a refill for your soul to happen. It’s as though you are holding out your cup and someone is ready to assist in your refill. Instead of reacting with “return to sender” give yourself a chance to breathe it in. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable with the focus on you, take a breath, be aware of the gift you are receiving.

Will you pay attention to your opportunities to receive? Will you wake up to the gifts around you and breathe them in with gratitude and appreciation?

And by the way, You are beautiful. You are doing an amazing job as a human being. You are perfect and whole as you are, you are more than enough.

You’re welcome.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Rituals for Sanity

You know I am smiling as I post this blog on a very wet, cloud filled morning. Hello Rain! Welcome! (This hot cup of tea was poured on an 80 degree day earlier this week, hot tea is ritual that soothes me, no matter the weather.)

I am smiling as I post this blog on a very wet, cloud filled morning. Hello Rain! Welcome! (This hot cup of tea was poured on an 80 degree day earlier this week, hot tea is a ritual that soothes me, no matter the weather.)

Summer is not my season. Every June I expand and open a little bit more to my least favorite time of year, aiming to give it another try, as if I had a choice. The season comes no matter my opinion of it. My attitude shifts to positivity yet still no matter what the heat, summer responsibilities, the agenda, and so many other details in between to continually remind me that this isn’t my preferred time of year. Instead of wishing it away I bring my rituals from other times of the year into the season to help keep my head above water.

A regular meditator, my practice really saves me in the summer. While my kids are in the pool, teaching swim lessons to little ones and attending their own team practices, I grab headphones and find a tree. Sitting in the shade I meditate. A challenge with pool noises in the background. But a challenge that enhances my practice. The music shifts me and draws me within. I focus on my breath. I am brought to my happy place.

I started coloring at the pool. An activity that calms me and gets me out of my head. I am reading a good murder mystery too. These three things help keep me from loosing it. Some can be totally happy siting at the pool amidst screaming children every day for four hours. Not me. So I plan ahead. I pack my bag of what will bring me peace. (Too early in the day for cocktails.)

I practice the things that I know facilitate a peaceful mind and I try new things to open my heart. It works. I hold a mostly full cup at the end of the day, ready for the next season but standing in this one.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: You Hold the Power

When will you run out of excuses to do or not do the thing you have been thinking about doping or stopping for some time now?

When will you run out of excuses to do or not do the thing you have been thinking about doping or stopping for some time now?

Change starts with me. If I desire to release a habit, stop a behavior, begin a new project, I am the only one standing in my way. I can blame time, kids, my responsibilities, the weather, my husband, the dog. You name it and absolutely anything can be an excuse. A legitmate excuse.

I can read books, hire a life coach, see a psychic, go to a therapist, meditate on the situation, pray, but in  the end the only one responsible for making it happen is me. Whether it’s to finish writing the book I have been “working on” for eight years, start an exercise program, call a friend, stop cussing like a sailor, I am the only one who can pick up the pen, get off my butt, dial the phone or close my mouth.

We are powerful beings holding the keys to our future. We get confused, overwhelmed, tangled up in life,and redirected by responsibilities, eventually it comes down to willingness. What are we willing to do and not do. Reasons set aside it is about moving our feet, taking the action, stepping aside. It’s okay to make excuses, it is human to do so, but in the end you are the only one who can say, “I choose to do this, I choose to stop making up excuses. I choose to step out of my own way.”

The best advice, the most inspirational wisdom I can attribute truth to are the words of Nike, “Just Do It.”

Put down the bad habit that’s not helping, turn your back on the behavior you loathe, start over, make the call, send the email, spend the time, get the thing, ask the person, strap on your shoes, and simply stop making it so difficult.  Just. Do. It. Don’t look back.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

 

Friday’s Free Refill: Walk to Full

Sure we walked all day long at Disneyland, but nothing beats a quiet walk in nature to attend to my physical cup!

Sure we walked all day long at Disneyland, but nothing beats a quiet walk in nature to attend to my physical cup!

Today is Day 12 of our 13 day road trip. Yesterday, we were staying put and didn’t have to get in the car and drive anywhere. A welcome relief. I was able to partake in one of my daily rituals – going for a walk – which has been put on hold here on the road.

It felt so go good, like connecting with an old friend. Walking in silence. Connecting to nature, God, my best self. I was in new territory, on an unfamiliar path, but I felt right at home. Walking gets me out of my head and into my heart. Even though I am doing something for my physical cup, moving my body, I receive an emotional, mental, and spiritual refill as well. Life giving all over.

A former runner, I once thought walking was an old person’s activity. I don’t consider myself old at 48 and I find great enjoyment in walking. Perhaps not like that good ‘ole runner’s high, but something better. A complete grounding. A connection to Mother Nature, just as good as any high.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Unconditional

 

Driving in a car on a long trip with those you love gives you lots of practice on being nice.

Driving in a car on a long trip with those you love gives you lots of practice on being nice.

Earlier this week I hopped behind the steering wheel of our mini-van with my kids and mother as passengers and we hit the highway. Twelve day road trip. Eight hours into Day 1, I got a little short remarked and sassy with my mom. I was quick to apologize.

“That wasn’t my best tone. Sorry mom.”

“Honey,” she replied. That wasn’t a sassy tone. I’ve heard worse.

“Well, I know I could have said it nicer. How many sassy – snarky chances do I get in a day this trip? I asked her. “Three, like in baseball?”

“How about as many as necessary. I will love you unconditionally, despite your tone.”

I didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve sassy. She was better than snarky.

On Day 5 of our road trip I have kept each day’s count under three. Yesterday, was a test and I kept reminding myself to be kind. I listened before I spoke. I breathed a lot.

At 84 years old, my mama still is able to love me despite all the years of sass. She is my role model, my hero.

I am reminding myself it is not what you say, but how you say it and that makes all the difference. With practice, I am showing up as my best self, with only a touch of sass.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: The Next Season

 

As our children grow and change when we step back a little bit more each step of the way we are not separating, we are allowing them more space to expand their wings.

As our children grow and change when we step back a little bit more each step of the way we are not separating, we are allowing them more space to expand their wings.

Time of transition around our house this week.

On Wednesday our son graduated from 5th grade and is moving on to middle school in the fall. Last night our daughter’s 8th grade promotion ceremony marked the fact that she is moving on to high school. I am now the mother to a middle school boy and a high school girl.

Not sure how that happened. I am not sad about time passing by quickly or our kiddos growing up so fast. I am grateful. In awe. Delighted by the witnessing of these young lives blossoming before my very eyes.

Change and transition doesn’t always come with a ceremony and a reason to celebrate. Often the changes we experience and observe come without fanfare or warning. All of a sudden one day, things are different. Not like yesterday.

It is common to lament the past and want the old ways to reappear. Often with change comes resistance. In this case of our children moving on I am reflective and in appreciation for being a part of their journey. The change for me is letting go a little bit more with each step of independence. But letting go is not separation. It is an opportunity to allow them to take up more space, find their own path and make their own footprints.

Is there change in your home, recently? How do you embrace transition? If you are having a hard time with it, I invite you to try on gratitude and gentleness. Be thankful.  Be gentle with yourself to feel what comes up for you.

Enjoy the adventure.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Always Changing

Time alone one day, time with others the next. Hard workout at the gym, taking it easy and sleeping in. To bed early, to bed late. What ever your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs they change daily. Pay attention. Listen to your body. Honor the answers from your heart.

Time alone one day, time with others the next. Hard workout at the gym, taking it easy and sleeping in. To bed early, to bed late. What ever your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs they change daily. Pay attention. Listen to your body. Honor the answers from your heart.

Even for those of us who are creatures of habit, we all change. You are different today then you were yesterday. Sure there are fundamental things about you that I believe remain the same, but on a whole, as a whole being, you are always changing.

Consider your needs. They have most definitely changed over the years. Something at one time that served you in a nurturing way may no longer be of need. So as you continue on your path of life, check-in with your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. What is calling you today may be a new awareness. Pay attention. Seek within. Listen. Act.  And please, please honor your longings. Those nudges are your Divine self guiding you in the right direction.

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master LifeT Coach who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women in person in Seattle and by phone. Next Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat is Wednesday September 28th in West Seattle.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.