Friday’s Free Refill: Insight Needs No Should

I wore a green sock not because I SHOULD but because it felt right! Happy St. Paddy’s Day.

Last Friday as much as I wanted to write my weekly blog to you, it was day two after my extensive foot surgery and as much as I felt like I should write because I do this every Friday and you lovely readers expect it, my body, mind and spirit wanted to rest. I truly didn’t have any desire to show up to the blank page. I listened to her and took the day off. (Pain meds could have played a part in it, too.)

I let go of should. I tuned in.

Yesterday, because my recovery had taken on a new twist with a foot blown up like a balloon, an incision that wouldn’t stop bleeding and I cried every time I put my foot down to get on to my crutches – I had a second surgery. Good thing. Three hematomas found. All good now.

As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep last night, I couldn’t sleep.  This is typically never an issue for me. I am often found asleep in the car (passenger side – don’t freak out), on an airplane (don’t worry never in the cockpit), at the theater (never on a stranger’s shoulder), you name it. I wanted to blame it on my hubby snoring next to me, but I was wired. As I tried to settle down, I grabbed my phone from my nightstand which is usually in the kitchen at night, but post op because of being bed- bound, it was accessible. Another late nighter on social media suggested I try a meditation app, Insight Timer. So I did.  (Thank you Cynthia.)

I have practiced meditation for awhile now, but usually self guided. This app offers a wide variety of guided meditations, nature sounds, mantras and more. I was always so defensive about my practice, thinking I should not rely on earplugs to listen, or others help. Ridiculous. But we all come up with reasons that support our  resistance. Plus with the headphones, I could barely hear hubby’s snoring. I relaxed, let go and got to sleep. Just before I drifted off to snooze land my thought was, I want to write a blog tomorrow.

Today, I didn’t listen to the should voice, You should rest, you shouldn’t worry about writing. Screw you Mr. Should, Brother Resistance. Sister Synic, step aside, because I WANT to write. Tuning in to body, mind and spirit it felt right to write.

Where in you life are you letting shoulds push you when you don’t need to be pushed or hold you back when you don’t need to be held back? Is it time to tell Mr. or Mrs. Should to take a back seat? Perhaps you SHOULD put them in the passenger seat and tell them to take a nap.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Always Go With the Nudge

Something told me to start taking pictures of cups, something told me…

This morning five women are gathering for my sold out Inner Wisdom Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat. Something told them to sign up. Just like something told me to start creating them back in 2010. Just like something told me to keep my mini-retreats to five, a small intimate number.  I have allowed six, even when I was nudged to keep it to five women. It ended up being fine, but didn’t go as smoothly as it would have been with a smaller number. Everyone’s one-on-one time with me was shortened. The end was rushed. My lesson at the end of that September retreat? Go with the nudge. Always go with the nudge.

 

Getting out of your head is exactly what inner wisdom is all about. It’s listening to the still small voice within.  This is a place beyond your concious, analytical, and logical mind. Tuning in to your emotions, intuition, that place beyond rationality. To get there you must trust. You must believe in the power within. You must allow.

 

Are you thinking, This sounds stupid, silly, woo-hoo, crazy and who has time for that? Great, call it what you will, it’s good stuff. Actually, how do you not make time and space for that? Inner wisdom is your best friend. It shows up in serendipitous, funny ways. A friend will provide the answer you were seeking when you decide to call her out of the blue. You will hear a story on the radio that provides an inspiration, affirmation, resolution or  idea specifically to your need. Your computer will freeze and you will have no other choice then to stop, breathe, wait. Without the ability to rely on your electronics in that moment, you tap in to yourself. What do I do now? You listen to the answer. In that forced situation you realize what you need to do, the answer surfaces. You had been wanting to go on a walk all day, all week really. Now is your opportunity. You have no other choice, besides. On this walk you get clear. You silence the busy mind. Fresh air circulates through you, you relax. You may never find out exactly why your computer froze up on you, but you know you wouldn’t have taken that walk if it hadn’t. And that walk was the fuel for filling up on your answers within.

 

Release the “shoulds” and begin trusting. Open up to noticing, listening, tuning in, allowing and knowing deep down that you know.  This comes with practice. We all have an inner knowing. This isn’t only gifted to a few. It is a matter of being willing to open up to it. Besides feeling at a deep unexplainable level, you could very well experience a sense of peace. When we flow with our inner knowing everything lands in place with ease and grace. Get out of your own way. Trust. Something will tell you what comes next. Listen.

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  

2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2pm: March 3, (sold out)  June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Support and Be Supported

Trust is a key ingredient in being a supportive parent.

Our daughter had her wisdom teeth extracted this week. Yesterday was the second day after surgery and man, it was hard to recognize her. Strange to see your baby all swollen. It’s all normal and part of the healing process, totally new to me as I never had wisdom teeth. After calling the dentist’s office confirming what I need to do and not do, I hung up the phone and turned to my daughter.

“How can I support you today?” I asked.

“I will ask you for help when I need it,” she immediately responded.

That’s it. Simple. Clear. Doable. It felt like a wake up call. In that one sentence, that one precise sentence I heard: Mom, you don’t need to keep asking if I’m ok. Mom, I am fine and you can stop bugging me. Mom, I am not suffering and your constant fussing want make the swelling go down. Trust me. Mom, chill out.

She is fifteen. She is a young woman. And although still growing and not a fully independent person the best way that I can support her is to get out of her way. Ask her how she would like my support. Trust her.

Also yesterday, I needed some support of my own. Both kids home for mid-winter break I had a full work agenda. Thursday writing, teaching a make up class and client sessions. Not to mention a head shot photo shoot for my book and website and a trip to the grocery store. As my writing partner and I sat at the dining room table, my son heard the oven buzzer go off and asked if he could help. Yes, please. After the quiche cooled, he brought me my breakfast. Then he continued to wash his breakfast dishes. Instead of feeling overwhelmed about so much on my plate I asked for support. My son knows he is in charge of all of his meals today, exercising the dog and taking care of his needs. Sister can’t be his second mom. He is twelve. Almost a young man. Although still growing and not a fully independent person, the best way that I can support him is to let him do for himself. I can empower him by saying yes, please, when he offers me help. I can get out of his way. I can give him more responsibilities and stop doing everything for him.

They best way to be there for your kiddo is to ask, “How can I best support you?” And if you really want to make them feel good, stop assuming and just get out of their way. Trust them, trust yourself.  That will provide the support where all will benefit.

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  Mini-retreats in West Seattle 2017, 9:30 – 2 pm: March 3 (sold out), June 2 (sold out), September 15. Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

 

Friday’s Free Refill: Let it Go

Does the need for perfection keep you spinning in circles?

It takes practice to let go of perfectionism. Or is it perfection? Lots of practice. I haven’t found any substantial gift in getting it perfect. I’m the only one who notices. Honestly, perfection is a huge impediment. For me at least. Wanting the house to look perfect before I take care of me, big barrier. Desiring supreme excellence in what I do, say, and how I be in the world, gigantic block. I end up not showing up for myself and I end up not being all of me in the world.

Do you dance with perfection? Does it haunt you, tugging at you to get it right? Is it time to start practicing another way?

What’s been helping me is to notice when I allow the need to get it perfect overshadow getting it done at all. It is often a form of resistance, if I can’t get it perfect, why begin? That does not serve me. When I am resisting the things calling my name I end up holding an empty cup. Another advantageous step to getting over perfection is that when I do something regardless of the quality I surprisingly feel really good. I did it, feels better than, I didn’t do it, again.

Notice then practice. What have you got to lose? Nothing really. You only have to gain. So get out of your own way already. Jump the hurdle and celebrate your victories. It will be perfectly unperfect! Or is it imperfect?

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone. 2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: March 3, (sold out) June 2 (2 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Pause

You owe it to your soul to be still.

I am blessed to be on a four day get away. Away from family, commitments, responsibilities. Out of the state and in a couple of hours actually out of the country.  A brief breather. As I woke up in the guest room of my friend’s house, the one thing I wasn’t away from was me. Me and my rituals. I propped two pillows behind my back and meditated longer than I would have if I was at home. I refilled my cup before my feet hit the floor.

 

I know this about myself. I need quiet. I need to disconnect from the outer world and connect to myself regularly. I also know it doesn’t have to be fourty minutes every morning like it was today. Ten minutes does wonders. Two minutes in the car is life changing. You can’t do it wrong. It takes practice. That’s it.

 

Turn off the phone, the busyness. And even though the mind doesn’t have a permanent off switch, it has a pause button. You get to acknowledge the thoughts at the same time you say, Not now. I tell clients to put that thought on a little wooden boat and let it float down the river in their mind’s eye.

 

Stillness allows me to connect to myself again and that is the refill that gives back. It gives me strength, wisdom, peace of mind, awareness, self love, fuel for living.

 

Will you hit the pause button today? You don’t need to get out of town or leave the country. You simply need to stop, be quiet inside. The outside around you may not be quiet, but that doesn’t need to be your excuse. Go within. Be. Still. Breathing always helps. And when the boat comes floating toward you with a thousand thoughts, you get to say, Not Now. Now I am  pausing to connect to me, myself and I.  Now I am refilling.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: March 3, (now room for one more)  June 2 (2 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Pour Self-Love

As I was preparing for today and tomorrow’s Love themed retreats and outlining this blog, look what yogi tea wisdom filled my cup.

This morning, a couple of hours before women gather for the sack lunch mini-retreat: Loving Cup, I must remember to live like I advocate for others to do. I must be the change my heart desires. I must practice what I preach. I must pour my own cup of love. Regularly.

 

When the women gather in circle, I will share that our thoughts about ourselves must come from love. As I drive to meet them I will shift my words, I should have done this, I should have done that, if only, to I AM ENOUGH.

 

I will teach that scheduling time for our needs is not selfish: I will share how I am more present to them and was able to engage with my family this morning because I created the time to be still, to pray, to take a long shower and to eat a hot breakfast before anything and anyone else. I Matter.

 

I will offer ideas, illicit inspiration, provide suggestions and provide space for them to share their wisdom with the circle. For we all know how to fill our own cups, we simply don’t give ourselves permission. We are in practice of taking care of others first, in anticipating their needs, and in honoring their expectations. What if we turned it around? What if we poured love into our cup as we honored ourselves? What if we recognized that in doing so we are spreading out our love beyond our own cup?

 

I know that when I say, Jenny you are enough and whole as is, you truly matter, this self love demonstrated in word and deed is actually a gift to those I love. They are receiving the better parts of me. Aligned, present, complete Jenny.

 

What will it take for you to realize that you matter? What will it take for you to take all that love you pour to others and instead of waiting until it is all gone, first fill YOUR cup?

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: March 3, (sold out)  June 2 (2 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: I Will

Choose the way you wish to feel, everything that matters to you will begin to fall in your lap.

Here we are already almost a month into the New Year.  Perhaps, like me, instead of making a list of resolutions you chose a one word intention. My word is AWAKE for  2017. Some followers on FaceBook shared their words: Connected, Flexibility, Happiness, Gratitude, Harmony, Confidence, Freedom, Fearlessness, Limitless. Simplify and more!

 

Similar to a list of resolutions getting lost in the shuffle, often our list for the day can get knocked off the counter so to speak. Other demands come our way and those things we planned on accomplishing get rolled over to tomorrow’s list. The way I counteract the feeling like, Oh, crap, I didn’t get anything done today, is to set an intention for how I want to feel at the end of the day, first thing in the morning.

 

I will hit the pillow tonight feeling grateful. I will end my day smiling. I will be joyful. I will feel content. When I choose the way I wish to feel, I meet that intention regardless of everything getting checked off the list. Even when I choose the intention of feeling accomplished. It’s a different way of making a list and I invite you to try it. Setting your intention of being CONNECTED, HAPPY,  FEARLESS or whatever is tugging at your heart strings has a better chance of manifesting if you begin with believing it will happen, if you move like it already IS.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: Feb. 3 (4 seats left), March 3, (sold out)  June 2 (3 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

 

Friday’s Free Refill: Feel It

Your feelings are your teachers. What can you learn from your emotions today?

Wednesday evening as I was driving to pick up my son and his teammate from basketball practice I was aware of my sadness. I had learned that morning of a student’s husband being put on hospice. I was thinking about the upcoming Presidential Inauguration. My husband was away on a long business. It had been raining non-stop for days and I just felt sad. As the tears slid down my cheeks, I didn’t brush them away. I allowed. I even spoke out, “I am sad.”

 

If I had tears on my cheeks when the boys got in the car, so be it.

 

For roughly five minutes, I allowed my feelings to purcolate, surface, escape my body, be released. When the boys did come into the car, I wasn’t sad. I was delighted to see them. We played music, talked, laughed. I was able to be present to them.

 

Thursday morning my son and I had a confrontational morning before he headed out the door. I felt sad again. ARRGH. I was mad too. I sat down on the couch and let the tears come. I acknowledged what I was feeling.  I was even grateful for feeling sad and mad. At this point my teenage daughter walked in the room and asked if I was okay. I told her, “I’m, okay, just sad.”

 

By the time my son left for school I had not hidden my feelings. We spoke out our frustration as well as our love. Then we hugged it out. We started over. If I were to brush my feelings aside I would not be making room for healing. Stuffing our emotions serves no one. It hurts our bodies, creating illness and physical pain. We are not designed to always feel one way. We are not our emotion,s but our emotions lead us to exactly where we need to be. They are our teachers.

 

I invite you to honor what you are feeling. Write it down. Thank it. Bless it. But mostly, let it out. Allow it to loving pour out of you.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: Feb. 3 (4 seats left), March 3, (sold out)  June 2 (3 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

 

2017 Schedule, Grab Your Seat!

 

All mini-retreats held in West Seattle, 9:30 – 2. We think we need a week away on a remote island to refill, but you would be delightfully surprised how 4.5 hours of unplugging from life and plugging within can recharge, rejuvenate and REFILL! Each retreat is designed around a theme. We laugh, share, connect, unplug, create, and simply be. I have been leading these retreats since 2010 and it is my joy, will you join us?

 4 seats left February 3rd, 3 seats left March 3rd, 3 seats left June 2nd and 5 seats left Sept. 15th

                      

Friday’s Free Refill: Holy Moly, Teenager in the House

Patience and forgiveness go far when you have a teenager in the house.

Our daughter is 15. Do I need to say more? She is a great young woman, of course, they all are, I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

Wednesday, rather than confronting her snottiness in front of her three girlfriends I decided to text her. When you get home I would like to have a conversation about your attitude. Thank you.

When she got home four hours later, she headed straight to the kitchen where I was standing at the sink. Mom, I’m sorry for my snotty tone, I was nervous about being late. I don’t say thank you, but I am appreciative of all you do for me.

We had a sane conversation, listening and acknowledging each other.

After a night of good sleep for both, it was like the conversation didn’t happen. Thursday morning that snotty, roll of the eyes, know it all tone, bit me when I suggested taking Vitamin C for her cough.

Here’s the deal. I am your mom. And I will continue to give out advice. It is up to you to ignore it or take it, but I would appreciate a different attitude.

The house went quiet fast. I breathed deep. Ok, I could have said that better. I know you are not a morning person, but we need to learn how to communicate differently.

She agreed. She always does great at do-overs. Giving me a chance to start again. Trying again on her end.

For me this raising a teenage daughter is all about patience and forgiveness. She is going through hormonal changes, so am I, so a reminder to breathe and trust helps me to be patient with her and with me.  Self compassion for the times I lose my cool paves a path for starting over. Showing mercy for her moments of snotty snobbery unites us.

Every day is an opportunity to communicate with love even when I’m not particularly feeling the love in return. It’s not about me or  the job I am doing raising a daughter. It’s about treating every moment as a new one, a fresh start to begin again. Begin with love, patience and forgiveness. And oh, yes humor helps tremendously.

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: Feb. 3 (4 seats left), March 3, (3 seats left)  June 2 (4 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Fill the Jar

Speaking out our gratitude only grows us from the inside out, expanding our hearts, increasing possibility.

On New Year’s day kiddos, hubby and myself gathered around the dinner table with our giant jar of gratitudes. In between bites of supper we took turns reading the slips of paper that filled the jar all year long. Stepping into our third year of this new tradition it feels like it is becoming a part of us, a piece of the McGlotherns.

I leave a giant jar on the kitchen counter with slips of paper resting on the closed lid. Whenever gratitude strikes, we write down the thing, person or experience for which we are appreciative on a slip of paper and put it in the jar. A happy moment to be shared and remembered on the upcoming New Year’s day. This year it was so much fun to relive those moments that of course I had totally forgotten about: the walk with a friend, a new client, a date with hubby, a family trip, a well played soccer game, a conversation. On a couple of occasions friends filled the jar thanking us for a fun night or delicious dinner.

I have some new ideas of how to use the jar this year. We all say a gratitude at the dinner table as our grace, bringing the jar to the table may be a new way we can capture those gratitudes on paper resulting in being able to be reminded on the first day of 2018. I have different colored paper lined up ready to use, adding variety to the glass jar. When we have family church, sit with a candle in the living room, I can have the jar as our center piece, bringing our awareness on gratitude as the anchor that grounds and unites us.

There are so many different ways to express our gratitude. Is there a new way you want to express your thanks this year? Grab a loved one, a pen, a blank piece of paper, click on your social media page, however you express your appreciation is perfect. No rules to follow. Only follow your heart and fill up yourself and others with authentic thanks.

Cheers! Jenny

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: Jan. 6 – sold out, Feb. 3, March 3, June 2, September 15. Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Chill

What if the best thing you could do right now was to do nothing? Yep, just be. Chill out a little. Your body, mind and spirit could probably use some rest.

This holiday season has me on a different sleep pattern. To bed later and up later. No at all like my typical, early to bed, early to rise. When I wake up after eight I feel like the day is half gone. But in reality, it’s not. It’s still there, with many hours waiting to be filled.

I was struck the other morning drinking my first cup of tea when I would normally be done with breakfast and thinking about making lunch, that this sleeping in is a gift. This extra time doesn’t have to be productive. What if far better than checking things off the list, getting things accomplished I chilled out and was still longer? I am very aware that all though I am known for my spontaneous spirit I crave structure. I like to know what I am doing and when I am doing it. This holiday two week break with kids home there has been some structure, a few items on the calendar, but mostly it’s been a “let’s just roll with it” season.

I must remember this is good for me. For all those times when the day is full and I am craving a moment to just be and for all those times when I am overwhelmed, hungry for a break in the action.

I think this chill time can be a challenge because we equate being accomplished, productive and worthy with action. What if someone told you that chilling out, sleeping in, doing nothing, not making a list at all was a good thing? What if you believed that you alone are worthy, not by what  you do, only simply by who you are?

The time to sleep in, rest, do nothing is fuel for your spirit. Gas for your tank on many levels. So relax, the New Year will be here before you know not, chill, give yourself a break. Just be.

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: Jan. 6 – sold out, Feb. 3, March 3, June 2, September 15. Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463. 2017

Friday’s Free Refill: Hand it Over

R e l a x, when you let go and allow your kids to do for themselves, you are not being a horrible parent, just the opposite.

Twas two days before Christmas and all through the house it is evident, the children are home, it’s holiday school vacation. I truly love to cook for my family. It is a cup filler and at the same time meal after meal, day after day, week after week, year after year, a cup drainer. When are children learn a new life skill it feels like receiving a present on the darkest day of the year. Then the same feelings that creep in the day after a holiday wrap us up when we realize are children don’t need us, they’re growing up. You want to curl up in a ball and leap for joy all in a twenty four hour period.

Tuesday afternoon as my sister and I visited over tea and chocolate in our dining room, my twelve year old son came in to inform me that he was going to make mac n’ cheese for lunch. Perfect. I could keep enjoying tea with my sis.  I taught him how to make it Monday from start to finish, so he was fully equipped for this master chef undertaking. He turned on the water to boil and then answered my request to go check on the laundry down stairs. (Something I taught him last month.) (Apparently I am also teaching him multi-tasking, life skills.) While he was handling the wash load the water on the stove came to a rapid boil. I reached for the mac n’ cheese box and as I was about to dump in the noodles, I stopped myself. The water was ready I could just get it started for him and let him do the rest. I stopped in my tracks.

I set down the box on the counter and turned down the gas burner to two. When Simon came back upstairs a few minutes later and I told him the water was ready it just needed to be turned back up to high or in our case number six on the stove dial.

I could have harmlessly taken over the cooking of his lunch. Instead, I listened to the voice in my head, telling me to back away. I remembered three summers ago when Simon was nine and I asked him to start making his lunch for swim team. Then there was the one morning I let him sleep in and made his lunch for him. Oh, did I pay for that one. He unpacked the lunch I had made and made a whole new one.

Teach someone to fish, then get off the dock. Hand them the loaf of bread and allow them to make their own feast.Teach someone to make their own meal then step out of the kitchen. Empower your children with skills and knowledge and then back off lady. We think we are being nice and helpful. Unconsciously, we want them to need us, telling ourselves it’s no big deal to help out just this once. And it is no big deal, except that it is taking away their power.

Is there a place you can back off the dock or step out of the kitchen? Be honest, where have you empowered your children and now it is time to allow them their own power?

It’s like a holiday and the day after all at once, I get it. While your kiddos are taking out the garbage, tying their own shoes, doing a load of laundry, making their bed or making themselves a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, step away and smile. If you must do something, go make yourself a cup of tea. Cheers!

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463. January 6th’s mini-retreat is sold out stay tuned for the 2017 sack lunch mini-retreat schedule.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: Jan. 6 – sold out, Feb. 3, March 3, June 2, September 15. Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463. 2017

Friday’s Free Refill: Home for the Holidays

When I create the space for me, 5 minutes or 30 minutes, I come back to myself, I refuel, I breathe deeply. This gift of presence isn’t just a gift for me, it is a gift for all in my world. For then, I can connect more authentically and deeply to those in front of me. Cheers!

The school bell will ring in just a few hours and the kiddos will be home for the holidays. A whole week of them home before Christmas is even here. Then a whole week after the Christmas celebration. Summer revisited, only no trips to the pool or soccer camps to attend.

 

It is during these times with children home on vacation that I can easily put my needs last. And it is specifically during these times that I am most in need of attending to my needs. A natural giver and one who enjoys doing things for and with my kids, still if I don’t take time to receive,

I get worn out. My cup goes past empty, like on the gas tank of a car. My tone gets short, my patience wears thin. I snap, I bark, I grow horns. My nature requires time alone to refill and recharge. It is my fueling station. That is how I gain clarity and peace of mind.

 

My work life will take a back seat, but my personal life will not. I will check in every day and ask for what I need. Whether that is time to meditate, take an extra long shower, or read a book, I will honor that time alone. For that time alone, even five minutes, is my breath of renewal, that connects me body, mind and spirit. See, dear cup holder, a sane mama is really the best Christmas gift you can give anyone, especially your children.

How will you honor your needs this Holiday Season?

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463. January 6th’s mini-retreat is sold out stay tuned for the 2017 sack lunch mini-retreat schedule.

Friday’s Free Refill: Teachers of Magic

Sometimes the best part of a cup of tea is holding the hot cup.

My fifteen year old daughter will tell you there are sixteen days until Christmas. She has been extra excited this year as she and her girlfriend are creating a celebration of their own this weekend for thirteen of their friends. The hand written invites are sent, the decorations purchased, the turkey is thawing, and the cookie sprinkles are every where.  Chrisgiving, their first annual creation will feature what they love best about the two holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas). Miss Margaret has been my teacher around Christmas since she was four. Showing me the magic. Guiding me to the light of the season. She is one of my inspirations for now loving Christmas after years of being stuck in Christmases of my childhood past. She has paved a path to me leaving the stress and drama behind only to embrace the love of the season.

Margaret has demonstrated the joy and turned on the switch inside of me that Christmas is about giving and receiving. Reminding me that it is about the little things. The little things like decorating the tree as we discover ornaments that touch a cord in our heart. That look on someone’s face when you offer them a homemade treat. Breaking out in dance in the kitchen when Elvis starts singing. Shared laughter watching Elf for the 111th time or delighting in the brightness the new strand of lights brings to the living room. She has taught me it’s about saving your pennies and planning a party with your best friend for your other thirteen best friends.

I absolutely 100% GET the stress the holidays can bring. Can bring, only if you allow it, only if you invite it in. (See last week’s blog about saying “no, thank you to holiday stress”, (http://www.mamaneedsarefill.com/2016/12/fridays-free-refill-no-thank-you-to-holiday-stress/)

But I’m learning from my children, two great teachers in front of me, that I have choices. I get to choose what I buy into, what I create, and what my intention for the season will be. I get to decide what I focus on and what I let go.

There was a big shift in our house this past weekend. Margaret’s brother, Simon, our twelve year old son, (the oldest of his friends to still BELIEVE) discovered that mom and dad are Santa. We have been leading up to this moment for a few weeks now.  He has not wanted us to tell him who Santa is and at the same time he was confused by the other kids at school and their choosing to not believe. He taught me so much in that moment. He taught me that HOW we honor Christmas can transform year to year without letting go of the magic, love, and beauty.

Dear Cup Holder, you have your own traditions, beliefs, rituals and details that make up your celebration of Christmas. Even if some of the details change are you willing to discover the joy? Are you open to learning something new? Are you ready for some new magic lessons? Connect with a kid, they will gladly lead the way.

What I needed to learn most is that as my kids grow older the magic doesn’t have to disappear. I have learned that from Margaret and Simon and I am teaching that right back to them by finding new rituals, bringing back some old ones from their younger years and by BEING PRESENT.

Always the best gift is to be HERE NOW, in the present moment. That is what I forgot. That is what I am remembering. That is what I am practicing living. With sixteen days until Christmas I am doing what I can do today. I am tasting, seeing, feeling and honoring what is before me so that on Christmas Day I am present to only what is before me on that day. Until then, I am here now. Practicing being in the moment, breathing every step of the way. Will you breathe with me? What happens when we intentionally breathe is pretty magical.

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463. January 6th’s mini-retreat is sold out stay tuned for the 2017 sack lunch mini-retreat schedule.

All moms deserve a re-fill, ideally before they run on empty.