We burn out on parenthood, our jobs, our relationships, our commitments when we are getting nothing back. We may feel empty when we are bored, feel under appreciated, exhausted, ultimately disconnected from ourselves. This is normal. You are not a bad person for not being excited about your parental duties and routine. You are not a freak for lacking enthusiasm about your life. You may have thought you were special on this topic, but you are like many, many other women. Let’s be real, waking up doing the same thing day in and day out for others doesn’t always lead to fulfillment. Instead of it being a cup drainer you want so badly for your routines, commitments and responsibilities to be cup fillers. If that is the case, then it is time to put some focus on YOU.
I find what helps me overcome burn out is to connect to myself. I am disgruntled with others when I am disconnected from myself. When I find what fills me up, create space for what I am passionate about and honor that commitment, magic unfolds. I connect more authentically to others. I find joy in the mundane, I find balance, discovering a rejuvenated perspective and I am living with purpose, on purpose. The natural resistance to this idea is that we think we are being selfish and can’t find any time.
You are doing no one any favors by putting yourself last. There is absolutely nothing selfish about nurturing your soul, tending your cup and caring for your needs. If it makes you feel any better, know that when you care for you, others feel it. Many benefit.
There is always time. Observe the moments of time when you are doing things that don’t really need to be done. When you do for you first, everything falls into place.
If you are feeling burn out right now, in this particular season of your life, then do this, I promise you will be glad you did: Pull out a piece of paper, a journal, turn over the grocery receipt sitting at the bottom of your purse or go to the memo pad/notes app on your phone and start listing the things that you can do in a fifteen minute time period that make you smile, make you feel alive, honor who you are and basically really, really like to do.
Guidelines to assist you in the things/activities you put on your list:
- It makes you feel better.
- It is something that you think about often.
- It can be done in 15 minutes without depending on anyone else.
- It is an accessable activity, meaning you don’t need to leave the house (accept for an intentional walk or jog) or go far away.
Now you have a list that is just for you. Next, commit to doing one of these things daily. I suggest starting your day with it, but if that is not in the cards pick the same time of day, every day, make a date. Show up to yourself. Because I tell no lie, we are burned out on life and all it’s parts when we are disconnected from ourselves. So commit. Practice. Show up. Hold out your cup, strap on those Nikes-and Just Frickin’ Do It Already.
A refill for you is a life giver for many.
Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women, couples too, in person in Seattle and by phone. firstname.lastname@example.org or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.