When the going gets tough, shit hits the fan or we run out of gas and want to run away, one might say we are running on empty. Holding an empty cup. In need of a refill.
My entire Mama Needs A Refill message is about going within to refill, recharge, rejuvenate. Stop. Ask for what you need and listen for your answer.
I am creating social media Refill Challenges and will be posting them on FaceBook and Instagram a couple of times a week. I haven’t decided if I will go with the same day of the week or be random. For starters it is an experiment. The purpose is to remind myself how to refill and to offer inspiration for you, dear Holder of the Cup. I posted my first “official” one earlier this week. Look for them on my Instagram and FaceBook Pages.
I’d love to hear from you regarding topic suggestions for the challenges. Whether it is around body, mind, spirit, kids, being a working mom, relationship etc. Post topic suggestions in the comments and I will take your words to heart. Thank you.
Carry on. Remember no one can pour from an empty cup and you are the only one who can pour your refill. Cheers!
Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone. 2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. firstname.lastname@example.org or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.
We burn out on parenthood, our jobs, our relationships, our commitments when we are getting nothing back. We may feel empty when we are bored, feel under appreciated, exhausted, ultimately disconnected from ourselves. This is normal. You are not a bad person for not being excited about your parental duties and routine. You are not a freak for lacking enthusiasm about your life. You may have thought you were special on this topic, but you are like many, many other women. Let’s be real, waking up doing the same thing day in and day out for others doesn’t always lead to fulfillment. Instead of it being a cup drainer you want so badly for your routines, commitments and responsibilities to be cup fillers. If that is the case, then it is time to put some focus on YOU.
I find what helps me overcome burn out is to connect to myself. I am disgruntled with others when I am disconnected from myself. When I find what fills me up, create space for what I am passionate about and honor that commitment, magic unfolds. I connect more authentically to others. I find joy in the mundane, I find balance, discovering a rejuvenated perspective and I am living with purpose, on purpose. The natural resistance to this idea is that we think we are being selfish and can’t find any time.
You are doing no one any favors by putting yourself last. There is absolutely nothing selfish about nurturing your soul, tending your cup and caring for your needs. If it makes you feel any better, know that when you care for you, others feel it. Many benefit.
There is always time. Observe the moments of time when you are doing things that don’t really need to be done. When you do for you first, everything falls into place.
If you are feeling burn out right now, in this particular season of your life, then do this, I promise you will be glad you did: Pull out a piece of paper, a journal, turn over the grocery receipt sitting at the bottom of your purse or go to the memo pad/notes app on your phone and start listing the things that you can do in a fifteen minute time period that make you smile, make you feel alive, honor who you are and basically really, really like to do.
Guidelines to assist you in the things/activities you put on your list:
It makes you feel better.
It is something that you think about often.
It can be done in 15 minutes without depending on anyone else.
It is an accessable activity, meaning you don’t need to leave the house (accept for an intentional walk or jog) or go far away.
Now you have a list that is just for you. Next, commit to doing one of these things daily. I suggest starting your day with it, but if that is not in the cards pick the same time of day, every day, make a date. Show up to yourself. Because I tell no lie, we are burned out on life and all it’s parts when we are disconnected from ourselves. So commit. Practice. Show up. Hold out your cup, strap on those Nikes-and Just Frickin’ Do It Already.
A refill for you is a life giver for many.
Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men and women, couples too, in person in Seattle and by phone. email@example.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.
The birth of Mama Needs A Refill Mini-Retreats all started with a dream. When I turned 40 I rented a house at the Oregon Coast and invited girlfriends to gather in the stormy month of February around the fire so to speak. Twelve women who represented a wide plethora of my past came to celebrate with me. What they didn’t know was that I was celebrating them.
One night we gathered around the fireplace in the huge rented living room and I read a short piece I had written about each woman, telling how I knew them and what their friendship meant in my life. A couple of women left the four day get away saying how we should do this every year, commenting how it felt like a retreat.
A few months later my friend K, called to tell me about her dream. She woke that morning with visions of something even better than sugar plums dancing in her head. In her dream a circle of women were gathered around me as I read to them excerpts from my blog. K’s dream was affirmation of stirrings in my brain about gathering women to recharge and refill their cups.
My first Mama Needs A Refill retreat was a two night get away. I rented a home on a nearby island, hired friends to cook for the weekend and gathered an intimate circle of six women around the fire. The retreat was a success and two all day retreats followed. Although the desire to join a retreat was warmly received, it didn’t out weigh the tugs of responsibility. Spending an entire weekend day away from family wasn’t at the top of anyone’s list.
And that is how the Mini-Retreat was conceived. Four hours during the day while kids are at school was ideal. No one would know they were gone. The thing is, it doesn’t take that long to replenish when your only focus is yourself. For those of us who dream of long vacations away from our families on a deserted island, how many of us live that dream?
The tools, rituals, intimate gathering, inviting setting with views of the Puget Sound and Olympic mountains out the window, set the scene for rejuvenation. We all think and maybe even talk about doing something for ourselves but let’s be honest, we leave it at the bottom of the list.
You don’t have to catch a plane for the mini-retreat if you live in the greater Seattle area and you will still be home for dinner. The mini is about planting the seed so you can feel, see and taste the benefit of spending time with yourself, being instead of doing. An authentic refill is about going within to not only discover but to hear your own wisdom. Sometimes we have to get out of the house to do that.
You are invited to check out the Mini-Retreat Schedule: www.mamaneedsarefill.com. Or make it easy, mark your calendar now with Friday October 3rd, Friday November 7th and Friday January 9th in 2015. These are the next three retreats. I don’t know what you will get out of going but I do know it will be something valuable. It will be something more, exactly what that more is, is a mystery I am willing to dance in with you. And just maybe as you dance in receiving a full cup you will discover the seed you have been looking for.
Are you ready to receive? Back in Session Special Rate for October 3rd if you register before September 20th. Contact Jenny for details, questions and to sign up: 206 255 0263 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
When given a handful or two of unscheduled minutes do you fill it with busyness, or do you use that as an opportunity to just BE? To be still, to be present, to be open, to simply be.
I must admit by nature, habit and history I am known to not have unscheduled time. I have created a way of being for myself that when I am found standing in unscheduled time, I fill it. I see dishes that can be washed, laundry needing folding, a dog who could use a good brushing, a smudge on the window. I can go through my day in constant action. No wonder at the end of the day when I crawl into bed it only takes seconds before I am asleep.
Living this way has depleted me. Left me standing with an empty cup. My natural wiring of always being in action has taught me to slow down. This constant forward motion has shown me that I can’t keep it up. This way of being is leaving a slow leak in my cup and slowing draining me.
The entire purpose of my retreat business, Mama Needs A Refill and book with the same working title, is to spread the message that we all have our own authentic way to refill and connect with our soul and when we ignore this we get sick, depressed, burned out, want to scream or run away and feel completely overwhelmed, frustrated and in a word empty.
A refill can be doing something for a short amount of time that you love and for which you are deeply passionate. A refill does not include numbing, ignoring, or stuffing feelings. A refill can be short but meaningful to you. Your refill may not be may refill and my refill very likely will not be yours. I have a friend who must go for a run to physically refill, where a hot yoga class or short walk with my dog does the trick for me.Some need church, when others need quiet on a mountain. An extra hour of sleep for one, a long hot bath for another.
How do you tell if something authentically refills you, connects you and touches on your heart’s desires? Ask yourself the following: 1.) Right now, today, in this moment what do I want to do? Then take a breath. 2.) Remove the word SHOULD and ask is this activity or action my agenda or someone else’s agenda? Take another breath 3.) Repeat #1 and #2 and Listen to the answer within.
By just taking a moment and asking myself what I want, need and desire without thinking of someone else’s agenda I am free to hear my own wisdom within. I am connecting to the Infinite Source of Love within and inviting Holy Mystery to dance with me.
Our heads screw with us. Don’t get me wrong we need our heads, they keep us from stepping into traffic without looking, but our heads alone are missing the whole of us. Our body and heart are an intregal part of who we are, they are the links to our soul.
If we only listen to our heads our refill will not last and will quickly fizzle out leaving us empty again. Our heart and soul although quietly are ready to guide us to what we desire and ultimately need to refill.
I am a living example of how just creating a handful of moments can refill my cup when I get out of my head and listen for the answer within. I also know without a doubt that if you choose the right refill in the moment you will taste its gift and it will last longer. It will restore you, not deplete you.
And I now know, after lots of practice, when handed five minutes of unscheduled time sitting and listening to the birds out my window does a lot more for my soul than washing the window.
Will you ask the question today? And better yet will you listen for the answer?
Please join like minded women, for your own unique refill,
Friday November 1, 2013.
10 AM – 2 PM
These mini-retreats are all about receiving, holding out our cups and saying YES to ourselves.
In order to pour for others, one must drink, and one can only drink from a full cup.
Discover how to refill through laughter, sharing, creativity, meditation, silence and more in just 4 hours.
This month for our theme, Loving Cup, I am thrilled to be joined by Robin Chellis, certified energy coach, who will be offering her spirit led intuitive healing in a private session during your quiet time. (Check out Robin and her offerings at www.robinchellis.com,)
To Register: Send Email to email@example.com
Call: 206 255 0463
Recent retreat attendee has this to say: Four hours of real refilling and refreshing. Time to breathe. Time to just be. Time to leave behind the things that drag you down. I would recommend these mini retreats to anyone. Jenny has an easy and amazing way about her that draws out the goodness.
Two gifts this morning refilling my cup, and all before 7:30 am. I just had to slow down to receive them.
Learning from a new yoga teacher, Dora, my body barely awake, doing yoga poses to music, which is also new to me, I was reminded who I was and as Guru Singh told me in his lyrics this morning, I am who I am and that is that.
In this one funky pose I had to grab my foot behind me and on one side, no problem. On the left side of my body, not so much. In the small class, I spoke up, What if you can’t grab your foot on this side?
Then that is that.
Just hang out then, Dora Gyarmati, owner and artistic director of
Spira Power Yoga (www.spirapoweryoga.com), instructed. No big deal, but interesting, what is your body saying?
Later, after my body was warmed up and already receiving the benefits of sweating at 6:30 in the morning, she read words that of course I thought were meant just for me…The only way to figure out who you are is to slow down.
By slowing down we rediscover who we are. By letting go we discover new parts of who we are.
Yoga and good lyrics, my two gifts. I don’t even need a shower or a cup of coffee. I am filled up ready to face swim team practice, making lunches, sibling rivalry…whatever the day brings.
I have slowed down enough to listen to what I need and to discover who I am.
All moms deserve a re-fill, ideally before they run on empty.