Mama Needs a Refill

What would your cup look like if you made room for trust?

What would happen if you said wait a minute, and did something for yourself first? Maybe took a breath or a moment, made yourself a healthy lunch or read one more page before doing something for your kids?

What would your world look like if you put your needs, your soul’s desires, yourself first?

Are you afraid of how it will look? Fearing it appears selfish, self-indulgent, greedy? Or worse do you think you don’t deserve it and guilt is stopping you?

What will it take for you to realize putting yourself first doesn’t mean putting others last and it certainly doesn’t mean you a bad parent?

The world will continue to spin if you stop, just for a moment and take care of you.

Trust me, it will spin even brighter because you will have stopped to let the light in.

Better yet, if you aren’t ready to trust me, we just met, or maybe you’re not even ready to trust God or the Universe, who is holding you up – trust yourself.

For you have all you need, right inside of you.

It's the simple pleasures and letting go of the stressful bits that overwhelm us this time of year.

It’s December, Christmas no longer around a corner but in the final stretch.

Where is your refill level? On empty? Swirled around and going in so many directions you have no idea what your needs are and if they’re being met or not?

Christmas will come regardless of what you buy, make, prepare or do. So what about adopting a less is more attitude this month and just be?

The other day at the pool, instead of doing three more laps to make it to an even half mile workout, I flipped over on my back and floated. I let the warm water fill my ears. The other laps would have to wait until another day. All I could hear was my breath.

My breath not doing anything but being…and really what more is there to do but just be? What else really matters?

Christmas will come even if you don’t send out the perfect Christmas card, make home-made gifts, take the kids to see Santa, make a gingerbread house. But if in doing those things you are filled with joy, experience the Christmas Spirit, then by all means knock yourself out, go to town. But if you are stressed out and missing the joy, screw it and sit down and read a Christmas book and have a second cup of cocoa.

In my HeartWriter Blog (www.heartwriter.wordpress.com) this week I am writing a series on peace.

Peace. Something we all want in our lives. In our striving toward peace we reach out to fill up, to accumulate, to gain, gather all in the name of peace. What would happen if we let go? In our relinquishing of the things we grab on to for the purpose of acquiring peace would we actually find it? Are we just looking for it in the wrong places? In the wrong things?

To embrace peace must we let go to make room for it? What would happen if we surrendered to the constant obtaining of things, knowledge, stuff…would we find ourselves standing right in the middle of this peace we desire?

Oh, but to let go requires practice and to practice requires showing up.

Today I am going to think about what I can let go of to sit more in the lap of peace.  The idea of relinquishing something of this world I think holds value is a bit scary indeed.  I will take a deep breath and listen to the still quiet voice within and hear the wisdom in the whisper.

Sometimes we don’t have to be still for very long, just long enough, to hear deeply. Which just means creating a practice of showing up and letting go and showing up and letting go again.

Pausing with a friend to enjoy a couple pots of tea, we took time to pause between all of our catching up.

In my HeartWriter Blog (www.heartwriter.wordpress.com) this week I am writing a series on presence.

As I reflect on what it means to be present to myself, to others, to God, I see it all starts with a pause. We may resist taking a pause to all around us for fear that we may be late to something, miss out, are not doing enough.

But in the showing up instead to the moment we are living ever more deeply, not too late at all, doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing.

What would happen if you started the next thing with a pause? I will try it if you will. God knows I need support, and I surely need to be reminded.

Two gifts this morning refilling my cup, and all before 7:30 am. I just had to slow down to receive them.

Learning from a new yoga teacher, Dora, my body barely awake, doing yoga poses to music, which is also new to me, I was reminded who I was and as Guru Singh told me in his lyrics this morning, I am who I am and that is that.

In this one funky pose I had to grab my foot behind me and on one side, no problem. On the left side of my body, not so much. In the small class, I spoke up, What if you can’t grab your foot on this side?

Then that is that.

Just hang out then, Dora Gyarmati, owner and artistic director of
Spira Power Yoga (www.spirapoweryoga.com), instructed. No big deal, but interesting, what is your body saying?

Later, after my body was warmed up and already receiving the benefits of sweating at 6:30 in the morning, she read words that of course I thought were meant just for me…The only way to figure out who you are is to slow down.

By slowing down we rediscover who we are. By letting go we discover new parts of who we are.

Yoga and good lyrics, my two gifts. I don’t even need a shower or a cup of coffee. I am filled up ready to face swim team practice, making lunches, sibling rivalry…whatever the day brings.

I have slowed down enough to listen to what I need and to discover who I am.

Packing up to go camping I found my camping mug. Camping is a way to slow down and figure out who I am indeed. Also a great way to get to figure out and discover my family.

Cristina Carlino, founder of Philosophy cosmetics, says it perfectly, Women are kind to everyone it seems, except themselves. But self-love, the knowledge that no matter what, you matter, gives you the ultimate glow.

I stumbled upon this quote reading O, The Oprah magazine this weekend. Away with women friends we shared, talked, laughed, cried, and listened to one another – supporting my philosophy of refilling my cup by getting away and rediscovering myself through friendships.

No face cream, health regime, or magic pill can “fix” you more than believing in yourself.

And of course that can be tough and definitely not always come naturally. You may try everything else first. This thing to numb you, that thing to distract.  This one to change you, this one to make you prettier, smarter, thinner, younger. AAAHHHH. The insanity must stop so we can catch our breath and slow down long enough in order to love ourselves just as we are. Long enough to figure out what we need and what philosophy works for us instead of beats us up.

What simple philosophy can you adopt so that you can grow instead of shrink your potential?

So here I am about to go on LIVE radio in a little over an hour and my physical health is in a new place. A place I haven’t been. Battled a migraine recently, now have headaches and other physical ailments happening so NOW more than ever I need to LISTEN and BE STILL.

Since the LIVE radio show is about card readings, I decide just now to pull a card for myself. What do I need? What dear Universe, divine Mystery, my loving God do I need to know right now with my physical health and with going on the radio? So I shuffle the deck, remember to breathe, surrender, shuffle some more and pull the RECEIVE card. Using my Grace deck by Cheryl Richardson I pull a card with two peaceful women, maybe angels, closing their eyes. I turn over the card and read the full message – When we open ourselves up to others, we open ourselves up to the abundance of the universe.

So what does this mean for me? I like it. I immediately feel comforted. I need to let go, rest in faith, believe and visualize all being well when I let others in and know that only good can come from being vulnerable. So that’s my take. If someone else got the same card, they may have a different interpretation for themselves.

I will see what the card’s message unfolds for me. I will post this, and go put my feet up, receiving all the blessings the dear Universe, divine Mystery, my loving God has to offer.

Needed guidance, pulled the RECEIVE card from my Grace deck by Cheryl Richardson.

Tune in 2 PM PST to the podcast…The Way of the Toddler on www.toginet.com   today  March 8th. I will be giving two card readings to the show hosts. It will be fun, tune in.

Learning what we need doesn’t always come to us easily. We often fight it. Sometimes we need a crisis to happen or a wise person to show us the way and to help us uncover what we already know, but are just too busy to hear it.

I know I am the type. The busy type. The can’t sit still type. I crave and need silence yet I often run from it at the same time.

Now that’s a picture an artist would have fun drawing. A figure running in many directions, hands outstretched holding an empty cup.  Moving toward what she needs but running from it at the same time.  If an artist can’t capture that, neither can you, right?

I had one of those lessons recently; where I had to surrender to what I needed, rest – silence – stillness, and boy did I fight it.

I had my first migraine attack in six or seven years this past week and I was quickly reminded how debilitating they are. Then I had an adverse reaction to an injection I was given for the pain. In the end, the final cure, after a trip to the ER and the right drug, the ultimate healer – surrendering to the power of prayer, being still.  I didn’t think I had the time to be still and let go as a mom of two, but nature had something else in mind.  Let go sister or you won’t do anyone any favors.  I have had more sleep in the last five days then a new born baby gets in a week. In my dreams I have gone to Hong Kong and back, written novels, conquered the world.

I needed rest. My body also might be telling me something else because of all the adverse reactions it had to food, medicine, life. So I am making steps to listen. Holding still so I can hear the messages energy healers, naturopaths, the Divine within, my friends, my husband, my body, God and all the ways she delivers messages to me, if I just hold still long enough to hear them, right?

How will you hold still today? How will you surrender to what you need to hear today? I’d love to know, so would everyone else. Do tell.

If you hold still what do you hear? Is it time for prayer, surrender, a good headache medicine, or both?

Playing online chess has taught me a couple of good life lessons and one of my recent discoveries it has taught me is to sleep on it.

I have been playing online chess with my brother-in-law for almost three years now. I sneak in a move between picking up kids, making dinner, when the kids are sleeping.  You have three days to make your move.  By nature I don’t think about my next step, I move from the gut, I do ten things at once.  So I am playing chess not only because I like it and find it entertaining, I want to learn the art of pausing, thinking through the steps.

My brother-in-law was periodically sending my messages in our chess game to, Take your time. Stop making moves when you are doing something else.  Wait until the kids are not sitting next to you.

Last month we were in a longer than usual match, I had let him take my queen when I rushed to make my move, so every move after that I was paying more attention. Taking my time. Working on thinking before moving, considering my options, trying to think three moves ahead instead of just one.  Everyone in the house was asleep I had quiet time to weigh my options. I still had more than twenty four hours to make my move, unlike the three minutes in an official chess match. Often less.  I played out my possible moves, I considered what he would do, then instead of making my move. I shut down the computer and went to bed.  I was tired. It was getting late.  My body was heavy and sleepy.

In the morning, fully rested I opened up the waiting chess game. I weighed my options, but then I saw a new option.  An opportunity I didn’t see the night before.  I could put my brother-in-law in check mate and win the game! Didn’t see that move earlier.  After a night of rest, after listening to my body, taking my brother-in-law’s wise advice, (advice he later would regret, perhaps) I was able to win the game.

What opportunities do you miss because you are tired?  What options are you missing because what you really need is more sleep?  Everything will be there in the morning, the dishes, the laundry, the book to read, the lesson to learn…sometimes though we miss it all, the golden opportunities, the chance to let go, if we fight against resting our head on the pillow.

Is there enough sleep in your cup today?

As I transition into life as a stay at home mom with all the kids now in school I continue on my journey of striving to live a balanced life.

Flat on my back in yoga class the other morning it came to me as the instructor encouraged us to “let go and let the ground support you.”

Yep, I didn’t have to do anything in that moment but lay there and watch my breath.  When plans, worries, agendas, concerns, thoughts crept into my space I let them go, with a breath. I watched them float away down my imaginary river, with another breath.  When they surfaced yet again, I breathed again and switched my focus to watching my breath.  Not controlling my breath but watching it. By letting go I am that much closer to living a balance life.

How great it would be if I did this continually.  Like a stream, flowing in one direction. Just watching my breath and letting the earth support me.  Letting go of the stuff that weighs me down.

As I call upon my own life experience and wisdom from others, I am aware of how supported I am.  I have the tools in my back pocket to lead a balanced life.  We all do. It just takes letting go of the stuff that gets in the way, right?

Today in order to make it to a noon yoga class I had to give up some things on my to-do-list. Baking homemade cookies was one of those things. I was going to Book Club in the evening and offered to bring dessert. I was tempted but in the end I wasn’t willing to give up my yoga time. So by letting go of baking something homemade for my friends I was putting myself first and honoring my desire to connect with my body, mind and spirit and fill my cup physically, spiritually and mentally by attending yoga.

As I left for my class, I noticed the muddy kitchen floor. Our dog had tracked in mud from the back yard. I hesitated. Only momentarily. To think I almost gave up getting to yoga to mop the floor.  By letting go of having a perfectly clean floor for my family to enjoy when they got home, I figured they would get more out of having a happy wife and mother.

So to put myself first, to honor who I am takes letting go of expectations.  Expectations only I put on myself. At Book Club tonight, my friends were perfectly pleased with Metropolitan Market Brownies.  My family didn’t even notice the paw prints on the kitchen floor.  But I am sure they noticed I didn’t yell, and I wore a smile on my face. Pretty sure that didn’t go unnoticed.

What can you let go of today that will help make room for you?  What expectation can you drop so that you won’t stress yourself out?  What little thing are you making into a big thing and by letting it go you would be all the better?