Fill your cup first thing in the morning, before you are awake enough to resist.

Every Friday morning for over a year now, I meet my friend at 6:30 AM and we walk for an hour. Before it’s time to make the kids’ breakfast I have seen the Olympic Mountains, been to the beach, moved my body, and shared some inspiring conversation.

Get it in first thing if possible. Your exercise, your meditation, your thing, whatever it is, do it before the rest of the world needs you. Create space for it before that time is taken from you. Do it before you are awake enough to resist.

Stop by my booth at the May 18-19 MamaCon at the Bellevue Hilton, I will be doing inspirational readings.

Congratulations Patti B. for winning two free tickets to MamaCon. Enjoy! May all the goodies, advice, other women and your entire experience fill your cup!

My new cup.

Today is the last day of regular season English Premier Soccer League. I know you are excited. I am, for reasons that have nothing to do with the games. As my family hands me my cards, mug of coffee, and showers me with songs and kisses I learn this soccer news. We will be down stairs watching the game while you meditate, write, read or whatever you want to do, my husband tells me before 7 this morning.

He gets me. He knows how I like to start my day. He knows what I need. Never mind that he too is incredibly happy right now watching soccer as I write this. Yes, soccer fills that lucky guy’s cup.

Giving me my handmade Mother’s Day gift my son says to me, It’s a cup, mama…for your business.

My new red cup made in art class with love sits on our windowsill. Not only a reminder to pay attention to my own needs but that others are aware too. They hear us when we make a point of acting on our own needs and desires. If we let them they will support us. They will fashion a cup out of clay with their little fingers and pinch together the love from their heart to make their  mama her very own cup.

I will be doing Inspirational Card Readings at my MamaCon booth. Stop by!

To read more about MamaCon and check out the details visit, www.MamaCon.net.

Win Two Tickets To MamaCon’s 18^th-19^th Event at the Bellevue Hilton.

Terms: Must be able to attend MamaCon Friday and Saturday May 18 and 19. (Friday is optional…but the tickets are good for both days.) Must answer Question and post answer in Comments Section by Sunday May 13^th (Mother’s Day) 8 PM to have your name put in the Drawing.

Drawing Question:  (Each Answer earns you one name in the Drawing Cup.) Imagine you are  alone in your house for one hour – you can’t clean or attend to responsibilities. No FaceBook, completely unplug. This hour is for you alone to refill your cup – What Will You Do?

MamaCon – Inspiration and Tools for Modern Moms! Speakers, Experts, Workshops, Comedy, Card Readings, Consultants and much more!

Free Tickets: $338 value. MamaCon Creators, Amy Lang and Kim Estes are donating these two tickets. What an awesome Mother’s Day Treat! Thank you Amy and Kim!

I will announce the winner Monday!

Grace...a little goes a long way. What a gift this Grace.

One day last week I was feeling a little derailed off my writing track, working on my book, Mama Needs A Refill. I was feeling overwhelmed, with so many other priorities in my path, frustrated about not getting as much time writing as I had planned. I wanted a word of wisdom, a grain of guidance to get me back on track, to lead me back home to that grounded place.

I ordered a new deck of Angel cards recently that I will be using at my booth at next weekend’s MamaCon (www.mamacon.net) and this was the perfect time to break them in. This deck has 72 small cards with one word on each.

I spread them out face own on my bed, closed my eyes and took some breaths. Then I set my intention: Show me what I need to know as I write my book. What do I need to support me, guide me and to know in order to keep moving forward on writing this book? A few more breaths.

I extended my left hand and asked one more question: Which part of the deck should I pull from? With 72 cards the circle was wide. Top, right.

I moved my hand to the top right and drew my answer.

Grace.

The booklet that goes with the deck explained more: Poise and elegance in form, attitude and action. Give up struggle and allow the universe to participate in the creation of your life.

My personal translation: Let go let God. Trust. You have what you need. Stop controlling. Get out of the way.

Check out MamaCon...May 18 and May 19 at the Bellevue Hilton.

Even though the hot cocoa is all for him, my son offers the best part to his mama. The whip cream and sprinkles.

It is so easy for me to let the state of my children determine my state of being. They are mad then so am I. They are at peace, I couldn’t be more grounded. Their laughter is mine, the sadness in their hearts seeps into my skin. I am trying to separate it all but that’s the thing, they are part of me even standing on their own feet.

Perfect Monday morning, sprinkled with drama and sibling rivalry, but all of us still walking out the door in smiles this morning. When my son’s emotional outburst came out of nowhere at the first bell, standing on the playground I was taken aback.

Watching him walk up the stairs in tears to school I could feel my own tears wanting to come to the forefront from down deep. They didn’t come this time. Instead I squeezed the dog leash tighter and kept walking. I walked down the tree lined sidewalks, listened to the birds, breathed in the Spring air.

If I don’t take it on and make it my own thing down to every part of me then I have more room to love him, be aware, and give him the support he needs. Oh, but it is hard to keep my own tears down, when I am alone, in a quiet basement writing this.

My separate tears totally sprinkled with love and sadness for my little boy, who is undeniably a part of me, are probably just what I need to experience right now so that I can love him, be aware and give him just what he needs when the next bell rings in five hours.

Not completely aware of it right now, perhaps these tears in my cup are what I need. Realizing I must have been holding them in for awhile because there are flowing like a river. Plentiful and deep. Cleansing and life giving. I let them come, for in their release I am more ready to hold it all again, separate and entwined.

It is surprising what can come out of a pen if you just take the time to pick it up.

Today a circle of women will gather for Mama Needs A Refill’s First Friday Mini-Sack-Lunch Retreat, “Discovering Your Passion.”

Passion. A word I love. It stirs up the desires of my heart and brings them to the surface. Tapping my awareness button.

What happens with us moms is that we dismiss our passions deeming them unworthy or as something that has to wait – kids first, husband first, others needs are more important.

I say B.S.

When a passion of ours is pushed back down like that it won’t die permanently. You can dig it back up and unearth its beauty, potential and life.

It takes commitment, diligence, effort and willingness.

There is a really good chance you have lost touch with the buried passions of your soul.

I invite you to carve out time to get back in touch. You will have to create this time, for if you wait for the time to happen, it will never come.

Schedule this time like you would a coffee date or an errand. You won’t need lots of time. Start with ten minutes. Perhaps this is the time you sit in the car waiting for kids. Pull a pen and piece of paper out of your purse or glove box and write this…What Moves Me? Then go to town. Move your pen. Don’t edit. Just write. Words will surface. Feelings will rise up and remind you about the desires of your heart. Sit and be with this awareness. A passion is not to be edited or critiqued. Only felt. Lived out.

This week explore with the power of the pen. The heart doesn’t lie. If you get out of the way as you ask your question be prepared to be stirred.

Next week we can talk about what to do with the stirrings…for now just stop waiting for the time to pause and reflect and create it.

Nothing like a cup of European Love to clear away the cobwebs and remind you to breathe.

Stress Not, the six foot five or more barista told me this morning at Caffé Fiore. Just a little reminder of what I know, but caught up in my head, had totally forgotten.

Monday morning was verging on nuts with everyone sleeping in and needing showers, but I still meditated while they slept in and made homemade French toast, getting everyone to school on time. Never mind I was the one who didn’t get the shower or brush my teeth.

A mom I know, juggling a lot more than a dog on a leash like myself, had to head back to school this morning, her kindergartner had forgotten his lunch box. She had a young son on a bike and another in a stroller. I wanted to help but realized I had a dog and wasn’t allowed on the playground with him.

We are not organized on Monday mornings, she commented to me.

None of us are, I told her. It’s Monday, we can be unorganized.

I was impressed with her calmness and all she had to juggle making her way back to school.

Walking toward my morning haunt for a hint of European Love, I started to wig out a bit in my head. There was a lot to do this morning, and I had misplaced my Caffé Fiore coffee card, I was hoping I had left it there.

Are you still back on the “European Love” line? That’s what I am calling their coffee. Rich, bitter, earthy yumminess that only after one sip I fill like I am transported to a café in Italy and suddenly wearing a beret staring at my easel with deep awareness.

Inside ordering my Americano, I inquired about my card. No, I had not left in there, but they were happy to make me a new one.

Should I tell you how much I had on my card? Worried about not getting my free coffee after ten purchases and only just loading it up with money on Friday.

No worries, we have that in the system.

And to think I was worried, searching the house for my card.

Stress not.

That should be on a t-shirt, I quipped.

Then he adds, You know that other great line, Jump and the net will appear?

Yes, I love that one, just trust.

Tall barista guy explained to questioning bearded barista guy the meaning of the last saying. They got into this lovely little conversation about nets and faith and jumping as I added cream to my Americano.

Stress not. I knew that, I just needed to be reminded. Walking with the dog leash in my left hand and my European Love in my right I walked home through the neighborhood, taking the long route. I would get there, I would get all the things done that needed to be done. It was a just a Monday, stress not indeed.

I am grateful for the beauty our Hawthorne gave us the 13.5 years we have lived in this house. I am excited to see what beauty will now spring forth from the open space.

Lately I feel like I am shedding old ways and trying on new thoughts, attitudes and ways of thinking. The old ways served me well. They got me where I am today. I am not at all in a place of regret and resentment. I feel lighter as I recognize what works for me now and what doesn’t.

We recently had a tree, a beloved Hawthorne tree, uproot itself in our backyard. Thursday the tree guys came and ground up the branches and most of the trunk to little bits in their big tree-grinder-thingy.

It was great to have the backyard back. The fallen tree took over a big portion of the yard. But now there is a big wide open space where the tree once stood. Our backyard more exposed, leaving us a bit naked to those who walk down the alley.

We were only vaguely aware for a handful of days of the slow unearthing. One day we were either drunk or the yard had become smaller. The next day, we indeed were not drunk, the tree was now leaning a bit. Late Holy Saturday night, as my husband looked out the bathroom window he exclaimed, Yep, I should have gone with my gut and called the tree guys yesterday. On Easter morning we found the tree toppled over in the middle of the yard.

Looking back over the handful of days prior to its demise, there were unexplainable sounds, strange snaps and crackles emanating from its branches. I dismissed the signs as animals in the alley or just simply, my imagination.

A twenty-something-foot-high Hawthorne tree is no small thing when you find it uprooted, toppled over on your lawn.

The unexplainable going-ons of nature relate to my own shifts of awareness. When I am made aware of new movement, a change in my perceptions, it is a bit like being exposed to the alley. Awkward at first but then the excitement of all the potential of this new self knowledge takes precedence.

Now free of old, suffocating ways of thinking I am gifted with new eyes, guided by the new lighted path.

In the open space left by our uprooted tree, we can plant a new tree. A new tree will not replace the same joy I received looking at the beautiful Hawthorne blossoms but rather give a new gift, a different joy. By looking forward and not back I am open to new life in whatever form that brings.

So much possibility when life uproots us and gives us new possibility to play with, new ways to fill our cup.