Mama Needs a Refill

I am married to a man who knows his limits and is quite aware of what he needs to fill his cup. It’s basic.  Friday night soccer games for his exercise, the newspaper for his mental daily activity, some peace and quiet for his spiritual connection even though he wouldn’t name it that himself, emotional connection through time spent with his children. Basic.

Then there is one more thing, just an annual refill that takes care of all his physical, emotional, mental and spiritual connections… The Big Dance.

Hubby has been attending the NCAA March Madness, Final Four since we have been together, some 17 years. This year he packed his bags for Houston. He meets longtime friends who live in other parts of the country, drinks lots of beer, occasionally plays golf, gets little sleep but has the time of his life. When he comes home he tells me his jaw hurts from laughing so much. These grown men laugh for the entire 4 days they are together.

On a check-in call Saturday morning, hubby tells me, “I needed this. I have been so stressed out from work. I know I don’t always tell you. Thank you. I’m good now.”

He was with his boys, laughing, burning off steam, refilling his cup. Different than how I need to refill but just as vital.

It's different for everyone and for my guy it's a yearly game...or 64 of them.

I know I focus on moms and our need to refuel and refill – dads need it just as much as we do. 

I’ve started putting lemon in my water. It makes the water taste better and I have heard the electrolytes in lemons are good for us.

At this point my stand is clear. I believe all moms give and give and if we don’t stop to receive we aren’t doing anyone any favors. I believe in filling our cups, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Today I’m not just speaking about pausing to drink more water.

I have spoken about figuring out your exercise, finding silence in your day, discovering your passions, putting yourself first, taking the time to sit down and eat your lunch, treating yourself, but I haven’t spoken about going to the doctor now have I?

We all get those little twinges, old injuries flaring up, new pains emerging and often if the pain is tolerable we put up with it. We make excuses about making a doctor’s appointment; we just don’t have the time.

Do you make an appointment to the doctor when your child has a physical ailment that needs attention? Duh.

So how come you don’t do the same for you? Perhaps it is time for a new doctor.  Maybe even a different kind of doctor.  Ever thought about a chiropractor, naturopath, masseuse or acupuncturist? If you aren’t getting your ailments figured out by your regular doctor, time to check-in with yourself and search out something new. Our health as mothers is vital. If you are long overdue and won’t make an appointment for you, do it for your family.  An unhealthy mom, even if it’s just a nagging back ache you can put up with, makes motherhood harder and on the verge of sucking like a fresh lemon.  You don’t have to “put up with it”, you wouldn’t want your kids to, so why should you?

What is your body telling you? Who can help you figure it out?

Learning what we need doesn’t always come to us easily. We often fight it. Sometimes we need a crisis to happen or a wise person to show us the way and to help us uncover what we already know, but are just too busy to hear it.

I know I am the type. The busy type. The can’t sit still type. I crave and need silence yet I often run from it at the same time.

Now that’s a picture an artist would have fun drawing. A figure running in many directions, hands outstretched holding an empty cup.  Moving toward what she needs but running from it at the same time.  If an artist can’t capture that, neither can you, right?

I had one of those lessons recently; where I had to surrender to what I needed, rest – silence – stillness, and boy did I fight it.

I had my first migraine attack in six or seven years this past week and I was quickly reminded how debilitating they are. Then I had an adverse reaction to an injection I was given for the pain. In the end, the final cure, after a trip to the ER and the right drug, the ultimate healer – surrendering to the power of prayer, being still.  I didn’t think I had the time to be still and let go as a mom of two, but nature had something else in mind.  Let go sister or you won’t do anyone any favors.  I have had more sleep in the last five days then a new born baby gets in a week. In my dreams I have gone to Hong Kong and back, written novels, conquered the world.

I needed rest. My body also might be telling me something else because of all the adverse reactions it had to food, medicine, life. So I am making steps to listen. Holding still so I can hear the messages energy healers, naturopaths, the Divine within, my friends, my husband, my body, God and all the ways she delivers messages to me, if I just hold still long enough to hear them, right?

How will you hold still today? How will you surrender to what you need to hear today? I’d love to know, so would everyone else. Do tell.

If you hold still what do you hear? Is it time for prayer, surrender, a good headache medicine, or both?