Mama Needs a Refill

Happy New Year All! This Fall’s Mama Needs A Refill mini-retreats were such a hit…we are doing it again, but trying a new day, since many expressed interest but were busy on Tuesdays. New Year’s Resolutions don’t have to have a negative spin…take a few moments the First Friday of February to put YOU first and reflect on where you want your year to go!

Mama Needs A Refill

Restorative Retreats For Women

Self-care is about nurturing yourself on all levels –

 physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually –

 so you can live, love and parent optimally.

-Renee Peterson Trudeau

Mama Needs A Refill is offering two min-retreats this winter.

Come get away to a mini-retreat.  These Sack Lunch Retreats are designed to replenish,

rejuvenate and refill your empty cup in the amount of time you could clean one room in your house.

Empty Cup = Bitchy Mama.

J.G. McGlothern

Greetings, I am your retreat leader, Jenny McGlothern, mother, wedding officiant, writer, experienced group leader. I began holding retreat for moms when I noticed how empty our cups were and how we put ourselves on the back burner with all of our nurturing. All women are in the nurturing role, taking care of others, but do we take care of ourselves?

Get away from your responsibilities in a relaxed environment and in just four hours discover your own unique ways of refilling your cup through sharing, laughter, silence, journaling and creativity.

For more information and to reserve your spot:

info@mamaneedsarefill.com

www.mamaneedsarefill.com

Often a simple walk can refill your cup.

Sometimes are mind gets hell bent on thinking our body needs one thing. Like this morning for example I wanted to get to 6:30 yoga but my husband had to leave the house early. I looked at the rest of my day, yoga wasn’t going to happen.Then walking the with the dog home from school drop off this morning, I kept walking past our house. Not in the morning plan. I was chatting with a mom friend who was headed on a walk, so I just kept walking with her. The short walk got me out of my head. Sure I didn’t sweat like I would have at hot yoga, but I moved my body.

We think we have to drip buckets, burn tons of calories when maybe our body just needs a gentle kick out the door moving in a forward direction.

With starting a job this week I needed to plan ahead about my refills. A lot of things had to go out the window. Instead of sacrificing everything, I chose to make time for my physical cup. I would be getting less sleep, have more on my plate, I couldn’t let everything go.

I picked the number three and did yoga twice and went on a big walk another time. It meant waking up early, but so worth it. Three times this week I filled my physical cup need by moving my body, making time for that body-mind connection.

Small sips to stay grounded. Little tastes to keep my balanced.

This sake cup was a gift from a Japanese student I had years ago in Tokyo. The Japanese sip their sake...little sips satisfying their thirst.

Not a cat lover myself, but perhaps you are, if so ... cheers!

Every need is not your call.

My mom regularly visits the nursing home where my step-dad lived the last three and half years of his life.

Talking with her the other day fresh from her volunteer time at the nursing home she was all smiles.  Her cup full.

I just love being there, had some quality visits today, so glad I went,” she told me.

I listened in awe.

Then came my confession: I couldn’t do it mom. I get sad around old people, forgetting that she is 79.

I have a good friend who loves being around the elderly, I just don’t do well. I don’t know if it comes from having both my father and step-father die in nursing homes. Not sure if it is the smell, the helplessness I feel, or just that for me it so, so sad.

After my confession, came my mother’s wisdom: Every need is not your call.”

Huh?

She said the words again for me slowly.

Oh.

Oh. Oh, yes. That is so very true.  I don’t have to do it all, I don’t have to say yes to everything. My gifts are in other areas.

Honey, I remember when you use to visit that one difficult lady from church every month. I didn’t do well with her, but you volunteered to bring her communion for a number of years.

Well, I like difficult people.

We laughed. We laughed hard.

Different challenges fill us or empty us – you don’t have to say yes to something if it drains you – doesn’t call you, for there is no life in that.

Come discover your own unique ways to refill your cup at Mama Needs A Refill Mini-Retreats this fall.

Restorative Retreats For Women

Self-care is about nurturing yourself on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually – so you can live, love and parent optimally. -Renee Peterson Trudeau

Mama Needs A Refill is offering a new series this fall.

Come get away to a mini-retreat.  These Sack Lunch Retreats are designed to replenish,

rejuvenate and refill your empty cup in the amount of time you could clean one room in your house.

Greetings, I am your retreat leader, Jenny McGlothern, mother, wedding officiant, writer, experienced group leader. I began holding retreat for moms when I noticed how empty our cups were and how we put ourselves on the back burner with all of our nurturing. All women are in the nurturing role, taking care of others, but do we take care of ourselves?

Get away from your responsibilities in a relaxed environment and in just three hours discover your own unique ways of refilling your cup through sharing, laughter, silence, journaling and creativity.

For more information:

info@mamaneedsarefill.com

www.mamaneedsarefill.com

Even more than the coffee, I got my "fix" yesterday writing with a friend. The words, the silence, the sharing, the pen on the blank page....aahh, refilled cup for me.

We often want a quick fix. I haven’t taken time for me, I’m totally spent, kids are pushing my envelope, fill me up quick, help me now.

A couple weeks ago my son was feeling overwhelmed, the number of things AI asked him to do were crowding his brain and suffocating his big heart.

Mom, your ice is thin right now, he told me gritting his teeth.

My coffee snorted out of my nose. Of course like all poignant sayings that spill from his mouth this one came in a paraphrased version of my past words to him, You are walkin’ on thin ice buddy.

In moments of instability, high stress, mounting anxiety, chaos, we want a quick fix. When we feel empty we often reach for a quick filler: cup of coffee, glass of wine, handful of chocolate or chips. We react fast, seeking comfort in salt, sweets, alcohol, caffeine.

We KNOW these things won’t make the stress go away but they provide temporary comfort.

My son’s quick fix is a hug. Mama I can’t calm down until you hug me.

Mine is food-don’t touch me, give me something salty.

Even when we take care of our needs and create time every day for ourselves we can still have moments of needing a quick fix.

I am working on being more aware of my quick fix needs and discovering new alternatives.  (Crack-meth to obvious, the flask in the fleece inside pocket too heavy.)

Breathing works. Not the futile Lamaze breathing, but the one, long slow breath.

I am no longer slipping on ice, but standing on solid ground, my mouth not craving salt, my quick fix residing right in my soul. Waiting for me at the center of my being.

Perhaps not as fun as food or drugs at first. But after practice it’s “a piece of cake.”

Remember when you were a teenager and you would lay out on the roof with your best friend, all lathered in baby oil. In one day, you would go from white to cocoa bean. The big decision of the day was what time should we turn over so both sides were equally tan.

My naturopath strongly recommends getting twenty minutes of sunshine without sunscreen. I love my naturopath. Living here in Seattle we are all vitamin D deficient, she believes. And my recent blood draw shows just that, D deficient.

I’m not like I was when I was a teenager living my summer days to get brown and I haven’t fake baked since my wedding. These days sitting in the sunshine for twenty minutes is all I need. I turn my chair to the warmth. Remove my sunglasses, close my eyes and go into a quiet place. The heat soothes me, sitting still centers me, and just being for a moment helps me find my breath.

Instead of worrying about skin cancer I am filling my cup. It doesn’t take long. Sometimes 10 minutes in between swim lessons, carpooling and making lunch is exactly what the doctor ordered. I am a new woman with color in my cheeks, remembering how to breathe.

Filling my cup with sunshine and quiet as the house sleeps.

Mama Needs A Refill–Upcoming Day Retreat: Saturday June 11, 2011

Summer is almost here. Translation: Your kids will be out of school.  For some this brings feelings of authentic joy (“can’t wait”) for some and for others it brings feelings of anxiety and hesitation (“oh, crap”). All feelings are real, none wrong, all deserve space to be explored and lived out…honored.

Do you have a plan to fill your cup this summer and take care of yourself?  How will you keep your cool when you are giving out even more than you already do caring for your kids?

I invite you to a one day retreat to share and listen to other moms, play, have quiet time to yourself, learn simple tools that can assist you in getting the most out of attending to your needs and ultimately…refill your cup.

Join me and other moms in West Seattle for a day of renewal.  On Saturday June 11th^th, 10 am – 4 pm we will gather in a relaxing home with views of the sound in a great neighborhood for walking, close to Lincoln Park…to share a little, let someone else do the cooking, be creative, relax, play, explore and just be.  You are asked to bring a journal and leave the guilt at home.

Take just 6 hours of your day for you...discover what fills your cup!

I am married to a man who knows his limits and is quite aware of what he needs to fill his cup. It’s basic.  Friday night soccer games for his exercise, the newspaper for his mental daily activity, some peace and quiet for his spiritual connection even though he wouldn’t name it that himself, emotional connection through time spent with his children. Basic.

Then there is one more thing, just an annual refill that takes care of all his physical, emotional, mental and spiritual connections… The Big Dance.

Hubby has been attending the NCAA March Madness, Final Four since we have been together, some 17 years. This year he packed his bags for Houston. He meets longtime friends who live in other parts of the country, drinks lots of beer, occasionally plays golf, gets little sleep but has the time of his life. When he comes home he tells me his jaw hurts from laughing so much. These grown men laugh for the entire 4 days they are together.

On a check-in call Saturday morning, hubby tells me, “I needed this. I have been so stressed out from work. I know I don’t always tell you. Thank you. I’m good now.”

He was with his boys, laughing, burning off steam, refilling his cup. Different than how I need to refill but just as vital.

It's different for everyone and for my guy it's a yearly game...or 64 of them.

I know I focus on moms and our need to refuel and refill – dads need it just as much as we do.