Mama Needs a Refill

Believe in your dreams, believe in your intentions, believe in YOU. I dare you to put yourself first for a day...not even a whole day, just 4 hours.

Still time to sign up for this Friday’s Mini-Sack Lunch Retreat. Instead of being discouraged because you already have forgotten about your New Year’s Resolutions, come reflect in a relaxing environment about your New Year Intention.

Create a simple vision board you can fold up and keep in your pocket or journal.

Catch your breath. Put You first for once, this Friday.

For questions and to sign up email: info@mamaneedsarefill.com.

Your intentions can manifest intowishes come true, with out needing fairy dust.

Yesterday on the playground, waiting for the after school bell to ring, I began chatting with a mom I see regularly. We wait for our kids in the same spot on the playground. We both took the opportunity to catch our breath before the bell.  In our exchanges of “how are you” we discovered a shared feeling. We both  had been going since the first bell in the morning that signaled the start of school. In those six hours between bells we try to cram it all in, get it all done.

She pointedly asked me, How do we do it? How do we get that time to consciously sit and be still without cramming everything in and accomplishing tasks?

I smiled. Here was my chance to do something  I have been intending to do.  I have been wanting to stop everything at 3 PM and sit with a book and a cup of tea, drink it while it is still hot, catch my breath before getting kids, settle into stillness, read a book.  All for a simple 20minutes, before I walk to school to get the kiddos.

Gina, I said, We consciously do this with having accountability partners. We set our intention, share it with each other, then check in with the other.

Smiling big, her eyes lit up. Yes, her eyes told me, Let’s do this.

The bell rang, we had to stop our conversation and greet children. I’m inspired, she told me as she walked away still smiling.

Me too. Now I had to do what I have been intending to do. Turn it off, sit with me, for twenty minutes.

When do we start?, I asked.

I’m starting tomorrow, she beamed.

Perfect. Me too. Oh, how I love the power of peer pressure. Tomorrow, Friday, we can check in at pick up.

It was set. So not only have I committed verbally to another person, I have written it down.  They say the chances of following through with something more than doubles when you do those things. Speak it, write it down and let someone else in on it at the same time.

It is morning, I haven’t even had my morning tea, and I am already anticipating the afternoon and  hearing about Gina’s “twenty minutes” of conscious” her” time before picking up kids and I am thrilled I get to read Jane Eyre for my twenty minutes. I am thinking about Earl Grey with honey.

These intentions don’t have to be unfulfilled dreams or far off wishes . They can manifest right before our eyes with a little effort, an accountability partner and a lot of letting go.

A moment to breathe allows you to see the light, take your moment now.

We want answers now. The ability to have our little world wrinkle-free, our role as parent defined clearly and without confusion, our path obstacle free.

At the end of our Mama Needs A Refill retreats, I ask the women to share one thing they gained from our time together that they want to carry with them. One nugget of inspiration they want to root deeply in their mind, nurture, and grow in their heart. During last week’s Physical Cup Mini-Retreat one the retreat attendees shared her nugget, that has been a lovely obstacle remover for me in my over scheduled, hectic pace of the last week.

I offer Goddess and Angel card readings during the retreat to each woman and this particular woman pulled a card that was her nugget of inspiration she wanted to not just carry in her pocket but get her through a time of transition.

Where there is breath there is clarity.

That’s it. Pause to breathe.  Pausing to breathe clears the path. Allowing your breath, your divinely inspired breath, to move through your body works miracles.

The answers you seek, the wisdom you desire is all inside of you waiting to be stirred up. You will only hear it, feel it in your bones when you allow your breath to dance inside of you, circle through and rise to the surface.

Where there is breath there is clarity.

And to think we were making it so much more difficult.

A book and hot tea all by myself, a slice of heaven in my eyes.

Repeat after me: I am not being selfish, decadent, or greedy by stopping in the middle of my day and doing something just for me. Come on, say it.

As I type this, the tea kettle is heating up and I am going to take 20 minutes to read my book and drink my tea while it is still hot before picking up the kids from school.

Everyone will be better off for it. It is far more important than folding all the laundry and cleaning out the fridge. But fine, if something stinks in the fridge, throw it out then open a book, a magazine, draw a bath, whatever, just do it for you and don’t get caught up in cleaning the whole fridge. We get lost in activities that don’t feed us, putting off the things that do.

Me time isn’t about being selfish it is about being wise. It is amazing how just a little bit of time devoted to your wants and needs changes the family dynamics.

Yes, with my personality it is easier for me to finish the laundry and attend to my list of stuff, but now that I wrote this, I have to do it. I have to show up to myself. Now it’s your turn.

Two gifts this morning refilling my cup, and all before 7:30 am. I just had to slow down to receive them.

Learning from a new yoga teacher, Dora, my body barely awake, doing yoga poses to music, which is also new to me, I was reminded who I was and as Guru Singh told me in his lyrics this morning, I am who I am and that is that.

In this one funky pose I had to grab my foot behind me and on one side, no problem. On the left side of my body, not so much. In the small class, I spoke up, What if you can’t grab your foot on this side?

Then that is that.

Just hang out then, Dora Gyarmati, owner and artistic director of
Spira Power Yoga (www.spirapoweryoga.com), instructed. No big deal, but interesting, what is your body saying?

Later, after my body was warmed up and already receiving the benefits of sweating at 6:30 in the morning, she read words that of course I thought were meant just for me…The only way to figure out who you are is to slow down.

By slowing down we rediscover who we are. By letting go we discover new parts of who we are.

Yoga and good lyrics, my two gifts. I don’t even need a shower or a cup of coffee. I am filled up ready to face swim team practice, making lunches, sibling rivalry…whatever the day brings.

I have slowed down enough to listen to what I need and to discover who I am.

Packing up to go camping I found my camping mug. Camping is a way to slow down and figure out who I am indeed. Also a great way to get to figure out and discover my family.

Cristina Carlino, founder of Philosophy cosmetics, says it perfectly, Women are kind to everyone it seems, except themselves. But self-love, the knowledge that no matter what, you matter, gives you the ultimate glow.

I stumbled upon this quote reading O, The Oprah magazine this weekend. Away with women friends we shared, talked, laughed, cried, and listened to one another – supporting my philosophy of refilling my cup by getting away and rediscovering myself through friendships.

No face cream, health regime, or magic pill can “fix” you more than believing in yourself.

And of course that can be tough and definitely not always come naturally. You may try everything else first. This thing to numb you, that thing to distract.  This one to change you, this one to make you prettier, smarter, thinner, younger. AAAHHHH. The insanity must stop so we can catch our breath and slow down long enough in order to love ourselves just as we are. Long enough to figure out what we need and what philosophy works for us instead of beats us up.

What simple philosophy can you adopt so that you can grow instead of shrink your potential?

How long does she expect me to pose with this cup? I'd rather roll over and have my belly scratched.

They say if you want to learn how to live in the moment you should observe a dog. As I write this at my friend’s kitchen table on this our ‘Thursday Writing Morning’, her dog rubs up against my leg. The female Boxer lets me rub her back and scratch behind her ears with my non-writing hand. Seeing that I still keep my pen moving and satisfied with the attention I do give her, Sassy goes back to her spot under the table and settles in for a morning nap.

I notice similar behavior at home with my dog, Buford. He is always fully attentive to whom and what is in front of him. There are numerous times when he gives me his look at me, look at me, look at me now, expression with his in my face, notice me, play with me, pet me, touch me, look out for my tail it’s gonna lovingly whack you, way of being that completely irritates me. When really he is being fully present, 100% in the moment loving the person in front of him.

How often do I push my husband, friends, or my children out of the way mentally when they are right there in front of me at a time I find inconvenient?  Too often.  I’ve got stuff to do, dinner to cook, we’re going to be late if I take this moment – this present speck of time and space to actually be in the moment.

Instead I could learn from my canine friends. Stopping to engage with one another is just one way to be present and living in the NOW. Turning off the control switch and being in the moment.

Sassy has woken from her five minute nap, sipped from her water dish, and sees the two writers at the kitchen table aren’t budging. She seeks out a new space to spread out and rest as she wanders out of the kitchen, down the hall. No agenda, she lives in the moment, ready to engage with the next human who is willing to stop what they’re doing and love what’s right in front of them.

Dog and his boy dance, engaging in the moment when there is nothing else that matters.

So here I am about to go on LIVE radio in a little over an hour and my physical health is in a new place. A place I haven’t been. Battled a migraine recently, now have headaches and other physical ailments happening so NOW more than ever I need to LISTEN and BE STILL.

Since the LIVE radio show is about card readings, I decide just now to pull a card for myself. What do I need? What dear Universe, divine Mystery, my loving God do I need to know right now with my physical health and with going on the radio? So I shuffle the deck, remember to breathe, surrender, shuffle some more and pull the RECEIVE card. Using my Grace deck by Cheryl Richardson I pull a card with two peaceful women, maybe angels, closing their eyes. I turn over the card and read the full message – When we open ourselves up to others, we open ourselves up to the abundance of the universe.

So what does this mean for me? I like it. I immediately feel comforted. I need to let go, rest in faith, believe and visualize all being well when I let others in and know that only good can come from being vulnerable. So that’s my take. If someone else got the same card, they may have a different interpretation for themselves.

I will see what the card’s message unfolds for me. I will post this, and go put my feet up, receiving all the blessings the dear Universe, divine Mystery, my loving God has to offer.

Needed guidance, pulled the RECEIVE card from my Grace deck by Cheryl Richardson.

Tune in 2 PM PST to the podcast…The Way of the Toddler on www.toginet.com   today  March 8th. I will be giving two card readings to the show hosts. It will be fun, tune in.

It is not uncommon to hear people say, “Oh, I’m not the creative type, when referring to their individual artistic ability.  “I don’t have a creative bone in my body – you are either born that way or not.”

I call B.S. on that one.  Sure if I drew a picture it would resemble the work of a first grader, but creativity has all kinds of avenues, a plethora of directions to take, and it is our own minds that put up the Dead End sign.

Just this week, I painted our downstairs bathroom.  Sure my husband would have cut in more precisely, taped everything, not spilled as much paint on the floor as I did, but what matter is I dipped the paint brush into the bucked and added colors to the walls with my own creative flare. You can’t compare one person’s creativity with another’s, that’s just self sabotage; you’re just setting yourself up for failure.

We all have possibility; it’s up to us to tap into it.   And as Oprah says in this month’s issue of her magazine, “Life is a big ol’ canvas.  And you have every combination of colors to paint with.”

We just let ourselves come up with excuses…”I don’t have all the money Oprah has” OR “I wasn’t born with creativity.”

I used paint this week I had left over in the garage, no trip to the hardware store.  I used the creativity I was born with, that I usually let stay buried when I listen to the voice that says “My husband is a better painter”, or some other line of cow puckey.

The creative act can be small; arranging a vase of tulips, adding new spices to your pot of soup, writing a thank you note on hand made stationary on the back of a napkin, planting a primrose on your front porch, rearranging furniture, making a valentine  – but the results are anything but small. You tap into a place that is begging for attention and you give yourself a little refill.

A bit of color not only brightens your world...it taps into your creative side.

Silence is indeed golden, especially in a room with ten teenage girls.

My friend, a high school girl’s basketball coach, asked me to hold a circle for her team.  They are past mid-season, running out of steam, grumpy around the edges, emotions high, sassy with each other, needing some centering.

Yesterday, we met for two hours in a circle, drawing on the elements their coaches have tried to instill, introducing something foreign to teenage girls – silence.

“What?” One sophomore starred back at me, “We have to be silent for 30 minutes? There’s no way I can do this.”

After instructions to either journal about one of my prepared questions or paint a cup and telling each other, “I believe in you,” as part of a ritual, they set forth into uncharted waters.

The skeptical sophomore, did whisper a question to her coach, and did make a small comment or two to a team mate, but for the most part she was silent for 30 minutes and as she put it, “that was the longest 30 minutes of my entire life.”  Despite her doubts she shared the highlight of the afternoon for her, the team-clown, stand-up comic, was, even to her shock and amazement, “being quiet.”  “It did give me time to reflect and think about things.”

Being quiet alone is far different from being quiet in a group.  I told them, if you can be silent together — think of what you can do together on the court.

If teenage girls can regain strength, find a bit of peace, come together again by a bit of silence what can it do for you parents?

Have you filled your cup today with a bit of silence?