Category Archives: Mom support

Friday’s Free Refill: Spread too Thin

When we let go everything falls into place.

You don’t know you are at the end of your rope, until you are at the end of your rope, my friend told me as she quoted a friend, who heard it from someone, who had read it somewhere. She shared this with me because days earlier I had found the end of my rope. At that point I was on on week eight from recovering from foot surgery. This atypical pain journey piled on with life had got the best of me. Thank God, I know how to apply extreme self care. I ran the bath water, boiled the tea, called the friend, shut out everyone else and focused on me, myself and I. Then I did that the next day. And the next. Gratefully the family had been use to me not picking up the household needs and demands because of being bed bound for nearly five weeks. See, they took care of everything then and this was my wake up call that I was spreading myself thin by taking on too much and doing more than necessary.

Often you don’t know your cup is empty until your cup is empty.

I know the signs. I know the prescription. I wrote the book on the way to avoid it, but sometimes it needs to happen so that I can walk the talk and not just sell the Kool-Aid.

The time has come. I have spread myself too thin. Family and friends who know me well are not surprised. But for me, this is is how I have always been, the caregiver, the rescuer, the one with a ton of energy who s happy to help. This also leads me to another awareness, I am wired to be self-forgetting. Others first comes naturally. Slipping off the rope a couple of weeks ago, was my gift. A present to remind me that I am the only one in charge of how I use my energy. I get to do it differently than before. It is up to me where I spend my time, put in the effort, and show up. Often it is difficult to recognize the cup getting empty because you are so use to being in motion and operating on fumes. It’s what you know. Since I know the prescription, it is time to get it filled. Allow me to share it with you:

  • Me First – Connect to my higher self, tune in to the Divinity within. Ask myself what I need and what I desire, listen to the answer.
  • Less is More – Say no to others when yes doesn’t come from a place of peace and joy.

When planning your day, leave breathing room.

 

  • Listen to my gut not my head – Although my head is wise, it gets shit done, it also causes me to make decisions for the wrong reasons. When I choose my answer by tuning in to my intuition, I am not led astray.
  • Anchor myself to my intention – Decide on one to three words each day that tether me to the way I want to feel and accomplish being the person I want to be. (These only need to make sense to me.)
  • How can I help? – Ask how can I serve, how can I bring light to another today? Really listen for the answer. Lately in my-spread-too-thin fashion, I keep hearing, “take care of you”, “slow down”. (I really keep hearing, “enough bitch, you don’t have to do it all,” but I didn’t want to freak you out.) Focus on what is in front of you. The best offering you can give another is by giving of your best self and that can’t be done when you have given and received nothing to yourself.

 

Standing with the rope at your feet or holding an empty cup isn’t horrible. It most certainly is not the end of the world. It is a beautiful wrapped gift of opportunity. And it will keep showing up until we receive its precious message.

So thank you very much, I get it, I don’t have to do and be everything. That’s what the rest of the people in this world are here for.

Cheers!

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (2 spots open), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Who is Mother’s Day For Anyway?

The second Sunday in May is not the only day Mothers can be celebrated. Mother’s Day is every day! Hold out your cup and ask for what you need then you’ll have plenty to pour for others. Cheers!

Seven years ago I decided that Mother’s Day was about me, not my mom, or my mother-in-law. Before you freak out on me and think I am an ingrate, allow me to tell you more.

The “holiday” was stressing me out. Go here for breakfast, do this for lunch, go there for dinner, all to honor and fit in everyone. My hubby felt like he had to honor all three of the moms in his life, me (the mother of his children), his own mother and his mother-in-law. Well, nothing stresses him out more than cramming everything into one day. Nothing stresses me out more than being with stressed out people. I was receiving “stuff” he “thought” I wanted, which left me feeling unnoticed. Don’t they know what I want? I was cranky, feeling bitter and underappreciated.

That was the year I changed it up. I asked for what I needed from my family and I offered what I could to the two moms in my life. I honored my mom and mother-in-law with quality time, phone calls, flowers, words of affirmation the days precedding the Hallmark Holiday. The day before I attended a yoga retreat. An entire day of focusing on me and not taking care of others. Heaven. Then on the actual day I asked for my favorite meal and a trip to the beach. Terryaki and saltwater, simple. I was grateful for being heard and I felt like a queen.  

Around that time I was also hearing from clients, friends and other moms that they were dreading the actual “day” because they weren’t doing what they wanted. Story after story of being happy when Mother’s Day was actually over.

Stress comes from adhering to shoulds. Overwhelm comes from doing what you don’t want to do.

I invite you to ask yourself what you can give this year then take a big breath and ask what you would like to receive. And if you even feel “guilty” about wanting to be alone, wanting to do nothing, wanting something not up to the typical Mother’s Day protocol, I will hunt you down and give you a BIG, FAT PERMISSION SLIP.

Ask for what you need. Offer what you can. It’s one day, but it can be a day of joy rather than a day of obligation and should. I invite you to choose joy.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  

Friday’s Free Refill: Crank up the Volume

Music, the great mood changer, my drug of choice.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t like music? I wonder if there is anyone on this planet earth, who doesn’t like music? I don’t mean at certain times they just want silence, I mean actually would rather never hear music again? Dear Lord, is that possible?

 

Ahhh, I can’t imagine a world without it. Sure the sound of the ocean is a symphony, rain on a tin roof a lullaby to my soul and I love being awakened by the birds’ love songs, but nothing fills my emotional, spiritual and mental cup like music. Rolling Stones, Neil Diamond, Neil Young, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Vivaldi, The Three Tenors, Jimmy Buffett, Shawn Colvin, Prince, Split Enz, Queen, The Boss, Take That, Robert Cray, any participant on The Voice – you name it, I love music.

 

It just takes one song to shift out of a shitty mood. One note to bring me into the present moment. One verse to spark a memory or get me up on my feet. Music heals. It’s cheap therapy. And I highly recommend it.

 

I invite you to remember the gift music has to support and nurture your spirit. If I am driving down the road on my way to pick up carpool and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath, I crank up the volume and sing along. The pause between lyrics reminds me to breathe.

 

Years ago a client was having a hard time with getting her children up and going out the door before school. I suggested playing music in the morning. It shifted their moods, elevated their spirits and as the morning routine was now more fun, they got out the door a whole lot easier.

 

Where in your life can you use a little more music? Next time you need a shift in mood or an elevation of spirit, would you be willing to turn up the volume? Warning: May cause heart to beat faster than normal, random encounters with strangers, sweaty armpits, giddy spirit, broken hip from spontaneous break dance move on the kitchen floor, weight loss due to forgetting to eat, skin rash from skidding on the pavement, sleepless nights from raucous dance parties. Play at your own risk.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: The Gift of Morning

Regardless if you are a morning or night person the tips below help you WAKE UP and get connected to yourself and the moment you are standing in.

Are you a morning person or a night person? Do you slowly awaken to the day or wake up ready to go? Do you shut down early or come alive at midnight when most of your world is asleep?

 

I am both. Not at the same time, but on separate ocassions. But if I had to pick one, I definitely am a morning person. I awake ready for the day. My feet hit the floor grateful for a new start. My mind starts to race about all the possibilites before me, no caffeine needed. At the same time I don’t necessarily want to talk to you, I want to connect to myself first, for that is how I fill my cup and find my best self. In silence. In stillness.

 

I have a number of morning rituals that allow me to find myself. My practices ground and nurture my soul. What is wonderful is that these grounding tools and cup fillers can be done any time of day. Knowing how much they rejuvenate my spirit I can call upon them and tap into them if needed during another time of the day.

 

Regardless if you are a morning or a night person here are some cup fillers and fresh start ideas to wake you up:

 

  • Stop where you are and ask yourself: “What is my intention for the rest of the day?” Is it to feel peaceful, accomplished, joyful or to be open? Whatever it is, speak it out to yourself in the present tense, “I am peaceful. I am accomplished. I choose joy. OR I am open to what comes my way.” Living intentionally provides a path to opportunity.

 

  • Play music. Choose a song that makes your feet tap and most importantly your heart sing.

 

  • Pull out your journal and jot down your feelings. Whatever they are GET THEM OUT. If you are concerned about someone seeing it (most people’s fear) have a colored pen handy to color over it. Transform your feelings to art.

 

  • Imagine you are holding an empty bowl, fill it with all that you are grateful. Imagine writing these things “good and bad” on slips of paper and tossing them into your bowl. Gratitude gets you present. Gratitude is the pathway to abundance.

 

  • Place your hands on your heart and take three, deep, long, breaths. May your inhale and exhale be matched, so count if needed. Just breathe sister.

 

These practices wake me no matter the time of day, connecting me to what matters, bringing me back to the present moment aligned with my best self.

 

Are you willing to tap into the morning person within you with one of this cup fillers or do you have your own way to wake up? Wake up already and cheers to the moment no matter the hour on the clock.

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Running Her Own Race

We must stop getting in the way of our children’s growth. We must step aside as they figure it out.

When our daughter told us she was running for the Social Media Correspondent position at her school, I was thrilled. I love to see her step out of her comfort zone. It of course, brought back memories for me, when I ran for school president back in 1985 and lost. I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm. I came up with slogans, all of which she politely turned down. I came with campaign suggestions, speech ideas, poster designs, and other schemes. She said NO to all of them. I had to be quiet. I had to honor her journey and step off the playing field. It wasn’t my game. I could cheer from the sidelines.

She was doing things I would not have done. She wasn’t using her energy they way I would have. I had to continually tape my mouth shut. I kept stepping on the field when it had nothing to do with me. My turn to run for office was 31 years ago, it was Margaret’s turn.

The night before the election she gave her speech to her dad and I as we sat on the couch taking it all in. The speech was great, it was her. And of course, I had a couple of suggestions. Just a couple. My husband gently grabbed by hand and said, “She is not giving her speech to adults. This speech is for high school freshman, let it be.”

I bit my lip knowing he was spot on (kind of). Margaret heard this exchange and made a two word change in her speech. It was all her, her words, her delivery.

At the beginning of all this I asked Margaret if I could attend her speech. If you are paying attention, you already know her answer. No. When her father wanted to attend, I gave him his own advice, Let it be.

We want our kids to avoid our mistakes. We want them to succeed. We want them to be happy. The thing is, that’s not for us to figure out and create.  Our mistakes are for our journey. Their mistakes can be the best things that happen to them. Success comes in many colors, shapes and sizes. We don’t get to define their success. And they are responsible for their own happiness.

We need to step off the field. We need to get out of the way.  We need to let them stumble and fall so that they can fly.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Refill Challenge

 

Look for these Challenges on FaceBook and Instagram.

When the going gets tough, shit hits the fan or we run out of gas and want to run away, one might say we are running on empty. Holding an empty cup. In need of a refill.

My entire Mama Needs A Refill message is about going within to refill, recharge, rejuvenate. Stop. Ask for what you need and listen for your answer.

I am creating social media Refill Challenges and will be posting them on FaceBook and Instagram a couple of times a week. I haven’t decided if I will go with the same day of the week or be random. For starters it is an experiment. The purpose is to remind myself how to refill and to offer inspiration for you, dear Holder of the Cup. I posted my first “official” one earlier this week. Look for them on my Instagram and FaceBook Pages.

I’d love to hear from you regarding topic suggestions for the challenges. Whether it is around body, mind, spirit, kids, being a working mom, relationship etc. Post topic suggestions in the comments and I will take your words to heart. Thank you.

Carry on. Remember no one can pour from an empty cup and you are the only one who can pour your refill. Cheers!

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Play the Right Game

Sure I used this cup pic a few weeks back, but hello, it’s perfect for today’s post and I refuse to play the comparison game.

Do you get caught up in the comparison game? The silly game of she has, I don’t. She did, I didn’t. He is, I ain’t. She’s stronger. He’s smarter. I love games, I play them often. And this one is not fun. You are constantly setting yourself up to lose. And even though it’s not about winning, there is no reward. No connection, no joy. Right out of the gate you are sacrificing your Queen or being sent to jail without the “get out of jail for free” card.

Ok, if comparing gets you going and out the door, wonderful, game on. For me, it keeps me stuck, doing nothing, failing without even getting started. Desiring to paint, but never picking up a brush, thinking that even a toddler has more talent than me. Wanting to volunteer my skills, but noticing others in the group have more experience. Whether it’s baking, writing, speaking, dancing or organizing a closet there will always be someone else who I think does it better  than me. Better doesn’t matter. Getting up off my feet is what matters.

If there is something your heart is tugging at your shirt sleeve to do and your inner knowing is hungering for you to get started, then let that be your fuel. Let her business be her business. Let his deal be his deal.

Create your thing. Do your dance. Play your game.

Don’t let comparison keep you out of the game. You have everything you need. You got this. Play on.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Insight Needs No Should

I wore a green sock not because I SHOULD but because it felt right! Happy St. Paddy’s Day.

Last Friday as much as I wanted to write my weekly blog to you, it was day two after my extensive foot surgery and as much as I felt like I should write because I do this every Friday and you lovely readers expect it, my body, mind and spirit wanted to rest. I truly didn’t have any desire to show up to the blank page. I listened to her and took the day off. (Pain meds could have played a part in it, too.)

I let go of should. I tuned in.

Yesterday, because my recovery had taken on a new twist with a foot blown up like a balloon, an incision that wouldn’t stop bleeding and I cried every time I put my foot down to get on to my crutches – I had a second surgery. Good thing. Three hematomas found. All good now.

As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep last night, I couldn’t sleep.  This is typically never an issue for me. I am often found asleep in the car (passenger side – don’t freak out), on an airplane (don’t worry never in the cockpit), at the theater (never on a stranger’s shoulder), you name it. I wanted to blame it on my hubby snoring next to me, but I was wired. As I tried to settle down, I grabbed my phone from my nightstand which is usually in the kitchen at night, but post op because of being bed- bound, it was accessible. Another late nighter on social media suggested I try a meditation app, Insight Timer. So I did.  (Thank you Cynthia.)

I have practiced meditation for awhile now, but usually self guided. This app offers a wide variety of guided meditations, nature sounds, mantras and more. I was always so defensive about my practice, thinking I should not rely on earplugs to listen, or others help. Ridiculous. But we all come up with reasons that support our  resistance. Plus with the headphones, I could barely hear hubby’s snoring. I relaxed, let go and got to sleep. Just before I drifted off to snooze land my thought was, I want to write a blog tomorrow.

Today, I didn’t listen to the should voice, You should rest, you shouldn’t worry about writing. Screw you Mr. Should, Brother Resistance. Sister Synic, step aside, because I WANT to write. Tuning in to body, mind and spirit it felt right to write.

Where in you life are you letting shoulds push you when you don’t need to be pushed or hold you back when you don’t need to be held back? Is it time to tell Mr. or Mrs. Should to take a back seat? Perhaps you SHOULD put them in the passenger seat and tell them to take a nap.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Always Go With the Nudge

Something told me to start taking pictures of cups, something told me…

This morning five women are gathering for my sold out Inner Wisdom Sack Lunch Mini-Retreat. Something told them to sign up. Just like something told me to start creating them back in 2010. Just like something told me to keep my mini-retreats to five, a small intimate number.  I have allowed six, even when I was nudged to keep it to five women. It ended up being fine, but didn’t go as smoothly as it would have been with a smaller number. Everyone’s one-on-one time with me was shortened. The end was rushed. My lesson at the end of that September retreat? Go with the nudge. Always go with the nudge.

 

Getting out of your head is exactly what inner wisdom is all about. It’s listening to the still small voice within.  This is a place beyond your concious, analytical, and logical mind. Tuning in to your emotions, intuition, that place beyond rationality. To get there you must trust. You must believe in the power within. You must allow.

 

Are you thinking, This sounds stupid, silly, woo-hoo, crazy and who has time for that? Great, call it what you will, it’s good stuff. Actually, how do you not make time and space for that? Inner wisdom is your best friend. It shows up in serendipitous, funny ways. A friend will provide the answer you were seeking when you decide to call her out of the blue. You will hear a story on the radio that provides an inspiration, affirmation, resolution or  idea specifically to your need. Your computer will freeze and you will have no other choice then to stop, breathe, wait. Without the ability to rely on your electronics in that moment, you tap in to yourself. What do I do now? You listen to the answer. In that forced situation you realize what you need to do, the answer surfaces. You had been wanting to go on a walk all day, all week really. Now is your opportunity. You have no other choice, besides. On this walk you get clear. You silence the busy mind. Fresh air circulates through you, you relax. You may never find out exactly why your computer froze up on you, but you know you wouldn’t have taken that walk if it hadn’t. And that walk was the fuel for filling up on your answers within.

 

Release the “shoulds” and begin trusting. Open up to noticing, listening, tuning in, allowing and knowing deep down that you know.  This comes with practice. We all have an inner knowing. This isn’t only gifted to a few. It is a matter of being willing to open up to it. Besides feeling at a deep unexplainable level, you could very well experience a sense of peace. When we flow with our inner knowing everything lands in place with ease and grace. Get out of your own way. Trust. Something will tell you what comes next. Listen.

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  

2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2pm: March 3, (sold out)  June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Support and Be Supported

Trust is a key ingredient in being a supportive parent.

Our daughter had her wisdom teeth extracted this week. Yesterday was the second day after surgery and man, it was hard to recognize her. Strange to see your baby all swollen. It’s all normal and part of the healing process, totally new to me as I never had wisdom teeth. After calling the dentist’s office confirming what I need to do and not do, I hung up the phone and turned to my daughter.

“How can I support you today?” I asked.

“I will ask you for help when I need it,” she immediately responded.

That’s it. Simple. Clear. Doable. It felt like a wake up call. In that one sentence, that one precise sentence I heard: Mom, you don’t need to keep asking if I’m ok. Mom, I am fine and you can stop bugging me. Mom, I am not suffering and your constant fussing want make the swelling go down. Trust me. Mom, chill out.

She is fifteen. She is a young woman. And although still growing and not a fully independent person the best way that I can support her is to get out of her way. Ask her how she would like my support. Trust her.

Also yesterday, I needed some support of my own. Both kids home for mid-winter break I had a full work agenda. Thursday writing, teaching a make up class and client sessions. Not to mention a head shot photo shoot for my book and website and a trip to the grocery store. As my writing partner and I sat at the dining room table, my son heard the oven buzzer go off and asked if he could help. Yes, please. After the quiche cooled, he brought me my breakfast. Then he continued to wash his breakfast dishes. Instead of feeling overwhelmed about so much on my plate I asked for support. My son knows he is in charge of all of his meals today, exercising the dog and taking care of his needs. Sister can’t be his second mom. He is twelve. Almost a young man. Although still growing and not a fully independent person, the best way that I can support him is to let him do for himself. I can empower him by saying yes, please, when he offers me help. I can get out of his way. I can give him more responsibilities and stop doing everything for him.

They best way to be there for your kiddo is to ask, “How can I best support you?” And if you really want to make them feel good, stop assuming and just get out of their way. Trust them, trust yourself.  That will provide the support where all will benefit.

 

Hi, I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. On the path of discovery, always seeking, it is clear that one of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  Mini-retreats in West Seattle 2017, 9:30 – 2 pm: March 3 (sold out), June 2 (sold out), September 15. Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

 

Friday’s Free Refill: Let it Go

Does the need for perfection keep you spinning in circles?

It takes practice to let go of perfectionism. Or is it perfection? Lots of practice. I haven’t found any substantial gift in getting it perfect. I’m the only one who notices. Honestly, perfection is a huge impediment. For me at least. Wanting the house to look perfect before I take care of me, big barrier. Desiring supreme excellence in what I do, say, and how I be in the world, gigantic block. I end up not showing up for myself and I end up not being all of me in the world.

Do you dance with perfection? Does it haunt you, tugging at you to get it right? Is it time to start practicing another way?

What’s been helping me is to notice when I allow the need to get it perfect overshadow getting it done at all. It is often a form of resistance, if I can’t get it perfect, why begin? That does not serve me. When I am resisting the things calling my name I end up holding an empty cup. Another advantageous step to getting over perfection is that when I do something regardless of the quality I surprisingly feel really good. I did it, feels better than, I didn’t do it, again.

Notice then practice. What have you got to lose? Nothing really. You only have to gain. So get out of your own way already. Jump the hurdle and celebrate your victories. It will be perfectly unperfect! Or is it imperfect?

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone. 2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: March 3, (sold out) June 2 (2 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Pause

You owe it to your soul to be still.

I am blessed to be on a four day get away. Away from family, commitments, responsibilities. Out of the state and in a couple of hours actually out of the country.  A brief breather. As I woke up in the guest room of my friend’s house, the one thing I wasn’t away from was me. Me and my rituals. I propped two pillows behind my back and meditated longer than I would have if I was at home. I refilled my cup before my feet hit the floor.

 

I know this about myself. I need quiet. I need to disconnect from the outer world and connect to myself regularly. I also know it doesn’t have to be fourty minutes every morning like it was today. Ten minutes does wonders. Two minutes in the car is life changing. You can’t do it wrong. It takes practice. That’s it.

 

Turn off the phone, the busyness. And even though the mind doesn’t have a permanent off switch, it has a pause button. You get to acknowledge the thoughts at the same time you say, Not now. I tell clients to put that thought on a little wooden boat and let it float down the river in their mind’s eye.

 

Stillness allows me to connect to myself again and that is the refill that gives back. It gives me strength, wisdom, peace of mind, awareness, self love, fuel for living.

 

Will you hit the pause button today? You don’t need to get out of town or leave the country. You simply need to stop, be quiet inside. The outside around you may not be quiet, but that doesn’t need to be your excuse. Go within. Be. Still. Breathing always helps. And when the boat comes floating toward you with a thousand thoughts, you get to say, Not Now. Now I am  pausing to connect to me, myself and I.  Now I am refilling.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: March 3, (now room for one more)  June 2 (2 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Pour Self-Love

As I was preparing for today and tomorrow’s Love themed retreats and outlining this blog, look what yogi tea wisdom filled my cup.

This morning, a couple of hours before women gather for the sack lunch mini-retreat: Loving Cup, I must remember to live like I advocate for others to do. I must be the change my heart desires. I must practice what I preach. I must pour my own cup of love. Regularly.

 

When the women gather in circle, I will share that our thoughts about ourselves must come from love. As I drive to meet them I will shift my words, I should have done this, I should have done that, if only, to I AM ENOUGH.

 

I will teach that scheduling time for our needs is not selfish: I will share how I am more present to them and was able to engage with my family this morning because I created the time to be still, to pray, to take a long shower and to eat a hot breakfast before anything and anyone else. I Matter.

 

I will offer ideas, illicit inspiration, provide suggestions and provide space for them to share their wisdom with the circle. For we all know how to fill our own cups, we simply don’t give ourselves permission. We are in practice of taking care of others first, in anticipating their needs, and in honoring their expectations. What if we turned it around? What if we poured love into our cup as we honored ourselves? What if we recognized that in doing so we are spreading out our love beyond our own cup?

 

I know that when I say, Jenny you are enough and whole as is, you truly matter, this self love demonstrated in word and deed is actually a gift to those I love. They are receiving the better parts of me. Aligned, present, complete Jenny.

 

What will it take for you to realize that you matter? What will it take for you to take all that love you pour to others and instead of waiting until it is all gone, first fill YOUR cup?

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: March 3, (sold out)  June 2 (2 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: I Will

Choose the way you wish to feel, everything that matters to you will begin to fall in your lap.

Here we are already almost a month into the New Year.  Perhaps, like me, instead of making a list of resolutions you chose a one word intention. My word is AWAKE for  2017. Some followers on FaceBook shared their words: Connected, Flexibility, Happiness, Gratitude, Harmony, Confidence, Freedom, Fearlessness, Limitless. Simplify and more!

 

Similar to a list of resolutions getting lost in the shuffle, often our list for the day can get knocked off the counter so to speak. Other demands come our way and those things we planned on accomplishing get rolled over to tomorrow’s list. The way I counteract the feeling like, Oh, crap, I didn’t get anything done today, is to set an intention for how I want to feel at the end of the day, first thing in the morning.

 

I will hit the pillow tonight feeling grateful. I will end my day smiling. I will be joyful. I will feel content. When I choose the way I wish to feel, I meet that intention regardless of everything getting checked off the list. Even when I choose the intention of feeling accomplished. It’s a different way of making a list and I invite you to try it. Setting your intention of being CONNECTED, HAPPY,  FEARLESS or whatever is tugging at your heart strings has a better chance of manifesting if you begin with believing it will happen, if you move like it already IS.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: Feb. 3 (4 seats left), March 3, (sold out)  June 2 (3 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

 

Friday’s Free Refill: Feel It

Your feelings are your teachers. What can you learn from your emotions today?

Wednesday evening as I was driving to pick up my son and his teammate from basketball practice I was aware of my sadness. I had learned that morning of a student’s husband being put on hospice. I was thinking about the upcoming Presidential Inauguration. My husband was away on a long business. It had been raining non-stop for days and I just felt sad. As the tears slid down my cheeks, I didn’t brush them away. I allowed. I even spoke out, “I am sad.”

 

If I had tears on my cheeks when the boys got in the car, so be it.

 

For roughly five minutes, I allowed my feelings to purcolate, surface, escape my body, be released. When the boys did come into the car, I wasn’t sad. I was delighted to see them. We played music, talked, laughed. I was able to be present to them.

 

Thursday morning my son and I had a confrontational morning before he headed out the door. I felt sad again. ARRGH. I was mad too. I sat down on the couch and let the tears come. I acknowledged what I was feeling.  I was even grateful for feeling sad and mad. At this point my teenage daughter walked in the room and asked if I was okay. I told her, “I’m, okay, just sad.”

 

By the time my son left for school I had not hidden my feelings. We spoke out our frustration as well as our love. Then we hugged it out. We started over. If I were to brush my feelings aside I would not be making room for healing. Stuffing our emotions serves no one. It hurts our bodies, creating illness and physical pain. We are not designed to always feel one way. We are not our emotion,s but our emotions lead us to exactly where we need to be. They are our teachers.

 

I invite you to honor what you are feeling. Write it down. Thank it. Bless it. But mostly, let it out. Allow it to loving pour out of you.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: Feb. 3 (4 seats left), March 3, (sold out)  June 2 (3 seats left), September 15 (5 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.