All posts by heartwriter

Friday’s Free Refill: Put That Worry in its Place

We allow worry to take over our entire being. Worry is fear and concern about the future and dear reader the future IS NOT HERE, so why pray tell are you worrying about it?

How do you handle worry? Do you allow it to permeate your being and get the best of you? Do you show it on your face or feel it in your body? Do you give it permission to control you?

I bring this up because recently I had a new inspiration as to what to do with the little worries that enter my daily thoughts and the big worries that take up residence in the curve of my neck and right shoulder blade. This new idea came while in meditation. A place where much of my inspiration comes. It is in meditation that I not only clear the clutter, but I make room for what must come in. One of my visualizations is me sitting in my imaginary garden at a long table. There is always a shed in this scene. And after years of not knowing what was in the shed I decided to start placing my worries inside this sturdy shelter. It makes sense to only me and it is working so that’s all that matters. Logic need not enter the picture.

Did you know that your mind can not differentiate between real and imagined thoughts? If I visualized it, then it happened in my mind’s eye. According to Dr. Joseph M. Carver the brain doesn’t know if a file is real or imagined. Dr. Carver tells us, “The Brain makes files based on information it is given, usually through our senses but often through our thoughts.” The brain will only react to the file or image of putting the worries in a hole, a shed or sending them off to space in a rocket ship.    

I also have used a worry box over the years. I write down my worries, fears, prayers on small slips of paper and tuck them inside my little purple box that only I know where it is in my closet. The idea being when I start to think of them again, I remind myself that they are being handled in the purple box, they are no longer my concern. I recently checked on my purple box and discovered that every slip of paper could be removed from the box and recycled. These concerns no longer consumed me, they had been resolved.

This is what I am doing with my shed. At the beginning of my daily meditation, I open up the shed in my mind’s eye and invite the worries to scoot on inside. It is a great check-in with myself to see what worries are getting in my way, what I am holding on to, and what is clouding my vision. I tell myself, (ok, here I may get a little woo-woo for you), but I tell myself that my angels are handling my concerns. There is also a window in my shed (the beauty of imagination) so that light can get in and transform the worries into something life giving.

Before using the shed, I forgot to breathe and I held my concerns in my body. The tightness in my shoulder, my furrowed brow and the ache in my neck have been released because I gave the worries another place to go rather than taking up residence in my body. I am beginning my day lighter, making space for thoughts that nurture and grow my spirit. At the end of the day I have noticed the worries have stayed in the shed, no longer obstacles in my path. I imagine in this new place they are transformed or simply they simply have flown out the window.

Do you have worries taking up valuable real estate in your body, perhaps clogging your brain? I invite you to have some fun, play with putting them elsewhere. Try a shed, a cloud, a deep hole, a rocket ship, anywhere, but within you. Give yourself permission to not hold on to them anymore. They aren’t exactly helping you, so what are you waiting for?

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for women, men, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2 pm. Next one, September 15 (2 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: The Joy of Inspiration

This past weekend my long time college friend Lisa and I said, Sayonara, to our hubbies, kids, dogs, all of our responsibilities, packed up her car, hit the highway and never looked back. When I asked Lisa on our drive to Portland what her intention for the weekend was she took a deep breath, “I want  you to have fun this weekend, that will bring me joy.” It was my first trip away after a long winter of foot surgery recovery, I was ready to choose joy for sure.

 

We stayed with her aunt and uncle, whom I could easily adopt as my own family. I acclimated quickly to their beautiful home, open hearts and peaceful way of living.

 

It is impossible to spend time with another person and walk away unchanged. Our interactions, sharing, connection and simply the experience of being in their energy motivates, inspires and wakes us up to our own creativity and purpose within. For instance, on this visit, our first conversation of the weekend was about their newly inspired kick to follow the advice of internationally renowned, Japanese born, de-clutter and organization expert, Marie Kondo. The author is all about tidying up based upon her method of keeping only “what brings you joy.” My friend’s uncle and aunt have always been tidy and organized, this new motivation deepened that awareness of organization. Their united passion for the way they live is fueled by inspiration from a particular era. My first visit with Lisa, a decade ago, was during their Victorian period. Their homes have been in magazines and their own expertise has been written about in a number of publications. In their new since my last visit, current home Japanese antiques adorn their 1920’s bungalow. I was revisited with memories of living in Japan back in my early twenties as a recent college grad. This sparked sharing stories I had forgotten with our hosts as well as chatting in Japanese with my friend’s uncle, watching a 1953 Japanese film and of course going out for sushi. Forgotten memories resurfaced of a very happy and exciting time in my life. Although, I didn’t come home ready to move to Tokyo, I did come home with new inspiration.

 

On Monday, attending to the grocery shopping, household chores and mom responsibilities, I had the sudden urge to plant and fill the house with beauty. I stopped at the local nursery and bought petunias for our front porch pots and more basil and bright colored plants for the back deck. Basil brings me joy, I make lots of pesto in the summer. Bright pink flowers call out to me to smile.  This yearning for beauty found me buying sunflowers for the living room and a new succulent potted plant for our entry way. I felt myself re-energize as I dug in the dirt outside and arranged flowers inside.

 

On our way back home to Seattle, Lisa and I discussed how we could create our own de-clutter method for each of our homes. We aren’t necessarily going to follow the Kondo rules, but instead adopt rules of motivation that work for us. We are calling it the JenLi method. (I will keep you posted in future blogs.)

 

This visit ignited planting more flowers and creating a new de-clutter plan. Interactions change us. Transform us beyond words. Even if Lisa’s uncle and aunt were slobs and didn’t serve our tea from an antique teapot, the experience still could have inspired me to choose flowers and keepsakes from a place of joy. The fact is every experience is an opportunity for inspiration. On our drive both to and from Lisa and I caught up on each other’s family life, work, challenges and we sang from the top of our longs to music from the 1970’s. If that doesn’t bring joy then I urge you to find your own era and a person who warms your heart to sing along with you.

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for women, men, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2 pm. Next one, September 15 (3 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

 

Friday’s Free Refill: Start With One

My daughter took this pic of me back in 2010 meditating on Spring Break.

At last week’s sack lunch mini-retreat a couple of the women in attendance talked about their desire to meditate. It was something they had been curious about. The desire was strong. The commitment not yet a priority. We had spent part of our time together discussing values and priorities. At the end of the retreat inspiration had entered in and there was motivation to make meditation a priority in a couple the women’s lives.

Back in the 1990’s I was curious about my own non-existent meditation practice. My curiosity was strong, while my commitment weak. I thought about it. I made excuses as to why I didn’t have time. I thought about it some more. I met people in my life who would increase my inspiration, fuel my interest and provide tools for me to begin. After at least a decade of thinking about it, I finally got sick and tired of thinking about it. One morning lying in bed, I thought, When will I ever have time to meditate? The answer was obvious. Now. Instead of beginning each morning wide awake thinking about nothing and everything as I lay there tossing and turning I could use this time to do the thing I have been thinking about doing.

I got up and left my husband sleeping. I sat down on the living room couch. I closed my eyes. Then I open them. I looked around. I got up out of my seat. I thought about meditating some more as I made a cup of tea. The next morning I set the kitchen timer for five minutes and sat down on the living room couch. I closed my eyes. I thought about opening them. Before I knew it I got up off the couch to check the kitchen timer. Four minutes and thirty three more seconds left in my five minute meditation. My armpits dripped and my hands grew hot as I adjusted the time on the oven timer. One minute. Go. I can do this. I went back to the couch. I sat. I closed my eyes. I noticed I was holding my breath. I exhaled. My only focus, my breath. In. Out. In. Out. My shoulders dropped, I allowed myself to relax. When my mind wandered to what I would make for dinner, the email I needed to send, how much time was left on the timer, I came back to my breath. In. Out.

BUZZZZZZZZZZ.

Wow, that minute went fast. I stayed with one minute for weeks. I showed up daily. No judgment on the length of time. Soon I was ready for three minutes. Then five. This is how I started my meditation practice close to a decade ago. Baby steps. A timer. My breath. One minute. Then a few more. Then twenty. Then thirty.

I had to think about meditation  long enough until that no longer served me and then my only choice was to sit my but down and begin. And like the retreat attendees I had to decide if I was going to keep thinking about it or make it a priority. When I discovered a more peaceful me inside, a more focused and aware woman, it was clear that meditation must be my priority.

Happy to say I have heard back from those two women at the retreat and they too have began with their one minute. What about you? Have you been thinking about beginning your meditation practice? I invite you to toss out perfection. Stop waiting for the house to be clean or the room to be quiet. Go within and create your clean and peaceful place within. And give yourself permission to begin slowly with 60 seconds. Your soul will thank you.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for women, men, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2 pm. Next one, September 15 (3 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Ebb and Flow

When we let go of getting things done exactly how we think they should be done and simply see them getting done, a natural flow, for our greatest good, ends up as the result. We need to get out of our own way.

Flow. Oh, how I desire for my life to ebb and flow naturally like the tide. Speaking of the word FLOW, it was the first word for both of our children. Only we spelled it F – L – O, for it was the name of their first dog, our beloved Florence Irene. There I go getting distracted from the main point. Focus, Jenny, Focus. Let’s dive into living in the rhythm and flow of life.

Do you have a gnawing within your soul for life to flow more easily than perhaps it is currently flowing? Do you too, have a long, full agenda in your mind and at the end of each day you feel like none of those things got checked off the list?

I imagine you are holding many responsibilities and juggling many roles. Like you, I wear many hats and in this balancing act of raising a family, running my own business, and living this life, there is an ease and natural flow to my day only when I have clarity about my priorities. Otherwise, it is like the beginning of this blog, and I get pulled into a new idea, attracted by the shiny red ball, totally distracted from my agenda. As I learn to let go of how and when things happen while staying committed to my priorities I discover a natural flow I couldn’t have planned on my own.

If your DAILY aim, and yes, I recommend breaking it down to ONE DAY AT A TIME, is to live in harmony while feeling accomplished, the first thing I invite you to do is to let go of what you don’t have any control over. You CANNOT control what happens, but you CAN control your response to what happens. And this makes all the difference contributing to a natural rhythm of your day.

Your second invitation is to get clear on your daily priorities. You can do this by asking yourself, “What MUST get done today?” Be realistic. Allow space between your to do list items. Please, please, PLEASE, be sure to add a desire on your list, that thing that gives you joy. You must create space for the part of you that longs to dance, play, laugh, relax, be filled up with what makes you smile. (Trust me, this contributes to the flow of life.)

When you are clear about your priorities, leave space for life to happen and let go of what you can’t control, the circle of life flows naturally, without you forcing it.

When the dog barks and it isn’t on your daily agenda, give thanks for the interruption, and consider it another invitation. An invitation to breathe. In and out like the tide.

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for women, men, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

 

Friday’s Free Refill: Unplug – 2 more Sack Lunch Mini-Retreats in 2017

 

Your retreat view!

Only two  more Sack Lunch Mini-Retreats left in 2017. Friday June 2nd and Friday September 15th.

One seat left for June’s mini-retreat, text Jenny today, 206 255 0463, and the spot is yours. Four spots open for September, seats fill up fast.

What exactly do we do? Well, as nine time, soon to be tenth time attendee, Amy says, “This is a spa for your soul.” With that being said, we gather in a small group and share on a chosen topic, we listen, we laugh, we meditate, we step away from each other and we reflect, journal, go for a walk, create a work of art, read a book, turn off our phones, give ourselves space to just BE and if desired, have a one-on-one private coaching session or inspirational card reading from me, Certified Transformational Master Life Coach for your Spirit.

How often do you give yourself permission to listen to your stirrings within your beautiful soul? We think we don’t have time to simply BE. I have an opposite view. I believe when we honor refilling our cup with doing less and going within we have more time, we are less chaotic, we discover clarity and the flow of life doesn’t feel so suffocating.

I have been leading these mini-retreats for seven years now and I’d love to meet you. Please don’t consider joining us, JOIN US!

Contact Jenny: 206 255 0463 or info@mamaneedsarefill.com.

Friday’s Free Refill: Spread too Thin

When we let go everything falls into place.

You don’t know you are at the end of your rope, until you are at the end of your rope, my friend told me as she quoted a friend, who heard it from someone, who had read it somewhere. She shared this with me because days earlier I had found the end of my rope. At that point I was on on week eight from recovering from foot surgery. This atypical pain journey piled on with life had got the best of me. Thank God, I know how to apply extreme self care. I ran the bath water, boiled the tea, called the friend, shut out everyone else and focused on me, myself and I. Then I did that the next day. And the next. Gratefully the family had been use to me not picking up the household needs and demands because of being bed bound for nearly five weeks. See, they took care of everything then and this was my wake up call that I was spreading myself thin by taking on too much and doing more than necessary.

Often you don’t know your cup is empty until your cup is empty.

I know the signs. I know the prescription. I wrote the book on the way to avoid it, but sometimes it needs to happen so that I can walk the talk and not just sell the Kool-Aid.

The time has come. I have spread myself too thin. Family and friends who know me well are not surprised. But for me, this is is how I have always been, the caregiver, the rescuer, the one with a ton of energy who s happy to help. This also leads me to another awareness, I am wired to be self-forgetting. Others first comes naturally. Slipping off the rope a couple of weeks ago, was my gift. A present to remind me that I am the only one in charge of how I use my energy. I get to do it differently than before. It is up to me where I spend my time, put in the effort, and show up. Often it is difficult to recognize the cup getting empty because you are so use to being in motion and operating on fumes. It’s what you know. Since I know the prescription, it is time to get it filled. Allow me to share it with you:

  • Me First – Connect to my higher self, tune in to the Divinity within. Ask myself what I need and what I desire, listen to the answer.
  • Less is More – Say no to others when yes doesn’t come from a place of peace and joy.

When planning your day, leave breathing room.

 

  • Listen to my gut not my head – Although my head is wise, it gets shit done, it also causes me to make decisions for the wrong reasons. When I choose my answer by tuning in to my intuition, I am not led astray.
  • Anchor myself to my intention – Decide on one to three words each day that tether me to the way I want to feel and accomplish being the person I want to be. (These only need to make sense to me.)
  • How can I help? – Ask how can I serve, how can I bring light to another today? Really listen for the answer. Lately in my-spread-too-thin fashion, I keep hearing, “take care of you”, “slow down”. (I really keep hearing, “enough bitch, you don’t have to do it all,” but I didn’t want to freak you out.) Focus on what is in front of you. The best offering you can give another is by giving of your best self and that can’t be done when you have given and received nothing to yourself.

 

Standing with the rope at your feet or holding an empty cup isn’t horrible. It most certainly is not the end of the world. It is a beautiful wrapped gift of opportunity. And it will keep showing up until we receive its precious message.

So thank you very much, I get it, I don’t have to do and be everything. That’s what the rest of the people in this world are here for.

Cheers!

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (2 spots open), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Who is Mother’s Day For Anyway?

The second Sunday in May is not the only day Mothers can be celebrated. Mother’s Day is every day! Hold out your cup and ask for what you need then you’ll have plenty to pour for others. Cheers!

Seven years ago I decided that Mother’s Day was about me, not my mom, or my mother-in-law. Before you freak out on me and think I am an ingrate, allow me to tell you more.

The “holiday” was stressing me out. Go here for breakfast, do this for lunch, go there for dinner, all to honor and fit in everyone. My hubby felt like he had to honor all three of the moms in his life, me (the mother of his children), his own mother and his mother-in-law. Well, nothing stresses him out more than cramming everything into one day. Nothing stresses me out more than being with stressed out people. I was receiving “stuff” he “thought” I wanted, which left me feeling unnoticed. Don’t they know what I want? I was cranky, feeling bitter and underappreciated.

That was the year I changed it up. I asked for what I needed from my family and I offered what I could to the two moms in my life. I honored my mom and mother-in-law with quality time, phone calls, flowers, words of affirmation the days precedding the Hallmark Holiday. The day before I attended a yoga retreat. An entire day of focusing on me and not taking care of others. Heaven. Then on the actual day I asked for my favorite meal and a trip to the beach. Terryaki and saltwater, simple. I was grateful for being heard and I felt like a queen.  

Around that time I was also hearing from clients, friends and other moms that they were dreading the actual “day” because they weren’t doing what they wanted. Story after story of being happy when Mother’s Day was actually over.

Stress comes from adhering to shoulds. Overwhelm comes from doing what you don’t want to do.

I invite you to ask yourself what you can give this year then take a big breath and ask what you would like to receive. And if you even feel “guilty” about wanting to be alone, wanting to do nothing, wanting something not up to the typical Mother’s Day protocol, I will hunt you down and give you a BIG, FAT PERMISSION SLIP.

Ask for what you need. Offer what you can. It’s one day, but it can be a day of joy rather than a day of obligation and should. I invite you to choose joy.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  

Friday’s Free Refill: Crank up the Volume

Music, the great mood changer, my drug of choice.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t like music? I wonder if there is anyone on this planet earth, who doesn’t like music? I don’t mean at certain times they just want silence, I mean actually would rather never hear music again? Dear Lord, is that possible?

 

Ahhh, I can’t imagine a world without it. Sure the sound of the ocean is a symphony, rain on a tin roof a lullaby to my soul and I love being awakened by the birds’ love songs, but nothing fills my emotional, spiritual and mental cup like music. Rolling Stones, Neil Diamond, Neil Young, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Vivaldi, The Three Tenors, Jimmy Buffett, Shawn Colvin, Prince, Split Enz, Queen, The Boss, Take That, Robert Cray, any participant on The Voice – you name it, I love music.

 

It just takes one song to shift out of a shitty mood. One note to bring me into the present moment. One verse to spark a memory or get me up on my feet. Music heals. It’s cheap therapy. And I highly recommend it.

 

I invite you to remember the gift music has to support and nurture your spirit. If I am driving down the road on my way to pick up carpool and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath, I crank up the volume and sing along. The pause between lyrics reminds me to breathe.

 

Years ago a client was having a hard time with getting her children up and going out the door before school. I suggested playing music in the morning. It shifted their moods, elevated their spirits and as the morning routine was now more fun, they got out the door a whole lot easier.

 

Where in your life can you use a little more music? Next time you need a shift in mood or an elevation of spirit, would you be willing to turn up the volume? Warning: May cause heart to beat faster than normal, random encounters with strangers, sweaty armpits, giddy spirit, broken hip from spontaneous break dance move on the kitchen floor, weight loss due to forgetting to eat, skin rash from skidding on the pavement, sleepless nights from raucous dance parties. Play at your own risk.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: The Gift of Morning

Regardless if you are a morning or night person the tips below help you WAKE UP and get connected to yourself and the moment you are standing in.

Are you a morning person or a night person? Do you slowly awaken to the day or wake up ready to go? Do you shut down early or come alive at midnight when most of your world is asleep?

 

I am both. Not at the same time, but on separate ocassions. But if I had to pick one, I definitely am a morning person. I awake ready for the day. My feet hit the floor grateful for a new start. My mind starts to race about all the possibilites before me, no caffeine needed. At the same time I don’t necessarily want to talk to you, I want to connect to myself first, for that is how I fill my cup and find my best self. In silence. In stillness.

 

I have a number of morning rituals that allow me to find myself. My practices ground and nurture my soul. What is wonderful is that these grounding tools and cup fillers can be done any time of day. Knowing how much they rejuvenate my spirit I can call upon them and tap into them if needed during another time of the day.

 

Regardless if you are a morning or a night person here are some cup fillers and fresh start ideas to wake you up:

 

  • Stop where you are and ask yourself: “What is my intention for the rest of the day?” Is it to feel peaceful, accomplished, joyful or to be open? Whatever it is, speak it out to yourself in the present tense, “I am peaceful. I am accomplished. I choose joy. OR I am open to what comes my way.” Living intentionally provides a path to opportunity.

 

  • Play music. Choose a song that makes your feet tap and most importantly your heart sing.

 

  • Pull out your journal and jot down your feelings. Whatever they are GET THEM OUT. If you are concerned about someone seeing it (most people’s fear) have a colored pen handy to color over it. Transform your feelings to art.

 

  • Imagine you are holding an empty bowl, fill it with all that you are grateful. Imagine writing these things “good and bad” on slips of paper and tossing them into your bowl. Gratitude gets you present. Gratitude is the pathway to abundance.

 

  • Place your hands on your heart and take three, deep, long, breaths. May your inhale and exhale be matched, so count if needed. Just breathe sister.

 

These practices wake me no matter the time of day, connecting me to what matters, bringing me back to the present moment aligned with my best self.

 

Are you willing to tap into the morning person within you with one of this cup fillers or do you have your own way to wake up? Wake up already and cheers to the moment no matter the hour on the clock.

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Running Her Own Race

We must stop getting in the way of our children’s growth. We must step aside as they figure it out.

When our daughter told us she was running for the Social Media Correspondent position at her school, I was thrilled. I love to see her step out of her comfort zone. It of course, brought back memories for me, when I ran for school president back in 1985 and lost. I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm. I came up with slogans, all of which she politely turned down. I came with campaign suggestions, speech ideas, poster designs, and other schemes. She said NO to all of them. I had to be quiet. I had to honor her journey and step off the playing field. It wasn’t my game. I could cheer from the sidelines.

She was doing things I would not have done. She wasn’t using her energy they way I would have. I had to continually tape my mouth shut. I kept stepping on the field when it had nothing to do with me. My turn to run for office was 31 years ago, it was Margaret’s turn.

The night before the election she gave her speech to her dad and I as we sat on the couch taking it all in. The speech was great, it was her. And of course, I had a couple of suggestions. Just a couple. My husband gently grabbed by hand and said, “She is not giving her speech to adults. This speech is for high school freshman, let it be.”

I bit my lip knowing he was spot on (kind of). Margaret heard this exchange and made a two word change in her speech. It was all her, her words, her delivery.

At the beginning of all this I asked Margaret if I could attend her speech. If you are paying attention, you already know her answer. No. When her father wanted to attend, I gave him his own advice, Let it be.

We want our kids to avoid our mistakes. We want them to succeed. We want them to be happy. The thing is, that’s not for us to figure out and create.  Our mistakes are for our journey. Their mistakes can be the best things that happen to them. Success comes in many colors, shapes and sizes. We don’t get to define their success. And they are responsible for their own happiness.

We need to step off the field. We need to get out of the way.  We need to let them stumble and fall so that they can fly.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Holy

This life is holy, are you noticing the sacred moments?

I received a text from my friend yesterday, her husband died in her arms  that morning after she read him a poem about leaving this life. His passing, which was expected, was holy, he was held in love and so was my friend.

We are in the middle of Holy Week. This used to be a time of year that I was deeply entrenched  –  going to mass Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. My favorites were always today Good Friday and yesterday Holy Thursday. Our family renamed Holy Thursday to Foot Washing Thursday. We would go to our Catholic church and partake in this sacred act.  As we went up as a family to the altar, beautiful music played and basins of water were brought to us. We got down on our knees in front of a family member  and washed and dried their feet. So tender  to see my daughter’s little hands wash her dad’s big feet or my son’s sweet look on his face as he took great care tending to my feet. And, what a joy, a gift, to wash my children’s feet. This year I am in the middle of recovering from foot surgery and was not up to  the walk down the aisle. Instead my mom brought us Catholic Sader dinner. Complete with foods that represent and honor the Last Supper.  A meal I grew up with that offers unleavened bread to symbolize the rush to flee their country, bitter herbs for the harsh years, and lamb to represent sacrifice to name  a few of the symbolic foods.

I appreciate the history. I value the traditions. Holy has taken on a different meaning for me the last couple of years. Just this week I witnessed a holy moment when I looked out my window and saw a humming bird perched above a Stellar’s Jay. For a flash I saw the two together, maybe chatting in the way birds do. These happen to be two of my favorite birds. My two kids home for spring break, kicked the soccer ball and played catch together Wednesday afternoon.  They laughed and had fun. Anyone who understands the sibling relationship, knows that this too, is a holy instant.

These holy instants don’t have to involve Jesus, church or a special day on the calendar. This life is holy, precious and sacred. A shared moment of understanding, forgiveness, a change of heart, a touch, a kiss, a tight bud unfurling, bird song.

I invite you to wake up, notice and witness the holy instants around you. Spring is full of them. Seeds planted in the fall now poking through the earth. Trees coming alive in full color. But my favorite are the holy instants with other human beings. For each of us holds sacredness within and it is through connection with another that it comes out. Let us be kind. Let us be gentle. Let us be aware. Let us honor the beauty within each of us.

You don’t have to belong to a certain religion to find the holy. Find your own holy. Create those holy moments by getting out of the way and witnessing life around you. A stranger receiving help from another stranger. Two birds dancing together. The sun rising behind thick clouds. Life is precious. Let us honor it always, not just during Holy Week.

Last night I wasn’t in a church and I experienced holiness around the table sharing a meal with my family. No one volunteered to wash my scarred, healing foot, but their connection was enough. And again this morning reading a post from my friend, even in death, holy is alive.

Will you slow down enough to notice the holy instants around you? That is where your REFILL comes in and you are filled to overflowing.

 

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Refill Challenge

 

Look for these Challenges on FaceBook and Instagram.

When the going gets tough, shit hits the fan or we run out of gas and want to run away, one might say we are running on empty. Holding an empty cup. In need of a refill.

My entire Mama Needs A Refill message is about going within to refill, recharge, rejuvenate. Stop. Ask for what you need and listen for your answer.

I am creating social media Refill Challenges and will be posting them on FaceBook and Instagram a couple of times a week. I haven’t decided if I will go with the same day of the week or be random. For starters it is an experiment. The purpose is to remind myself how to refill and to offer inspiration for you, dear Holder of the Cup. I posted my first “official” one earlier this week. Look for them on my Instagram and FaceBook Pages.

I’d love to hear from you regarding topic suggestions for the challenges. Whether it is around body, mind, spirit, kids, being a working mom, relationship etc. Post topic suggestions in the comments and I will take your words to heart. Thank you.

Carry on. Remember no one can pour from an empty cup and you are the only one who can pour your refill. Cheers!

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Play the Right Game

Sure I used this cup pic a few weeks back, but hello, it’s perfect for today’s post and I refuse to play the comparison game.

Do you get caught up in the comparison game? The silly game of she has, I don’t. She did, I didn’t. He is, I ain’t. She’s stronger. He’s smarter. I love games, I play them often. And this one is not fun. You are constantly setting yourself up to lose. And even though it’s not about winning, there is no reward. No connection, no joy. Right out of the gate you are sacrificing your Queen or being sent to jail without the “get out of jail for free” card.

Ok, if comparing gets you going and out the door, wonderful, game on. For me, it keeps me stuck, doing nothing, failing without even getting started. Desiring to paint, but never picking up a brush, thinking that even a toddler has more talent than me. Wanting to volunteer my skills, but noticing others in the group have more experience. Whether it’s baking, writing, speaking, dancing or organizing a closet there will always be someone else who I think does it better  than me. Better doesn’t matter. Getting up off my feet is what matters.

If there is something your heart is tugging at your shirt sleeve to do and your inner knowing is hungering for you to get started, then let that be your fuel. Let her business be her business. Let his deal be his deal.

Create your thing. Do your dance. Play your game.

Don’t let comparison keep you out of the game. You have everything you need. You got this. Play on.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Try Asking a Different Question

Start your day, enter a situation, with an attitude that supports, ask yourself the right questions.

When I enter a situation with the attitude of, What am I going to get out of this?, the result usually isn’t that positive. I either wish I didn’t attend the event or  I regret having participated because I got nothing out of it or I don’t have a very good time.

If I enter a situation whether it’s attending a meeting, doing something social, or anything in between with an open attitude and ask the questions, What can I offer? How can I help? Where can I give or be of service? How can I be a bit of  light for another? The outcome is positive. My experience is a blessing. I am surprised with goodness.

Be open. Ask what you can give instead of what can you get and see what happens. Possibly some magic. Possibly a whole lot more than you dreamed possible.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.

Friday’s Free Refill: Insight Needs No Should

I wore a green sock not because I SHOULD but because it felt right! Happy St. Paddy’s Day.

Last Friday as much as I wanted to write my weekly blog to you, it was day two after my extensive foot surgery and as much as I felt like I should write because I do this every Friday and you lovely readers expect it, my body, mind and spirit wanted to rest. I truly didn’t have any desire to show up to the blank page. I listened to her and took the day off. (Pain meds could have played a part in it, too.)

I let go of should. I tuned in.

Yesterday, because my recovery had taken on a new twist with a foot blown up like a balloon, an incision that wouldn’t stop bleeding and I cried every time I put my foot down to get on to my crutches – I had a second surgery. Good thing. Three hematomas found. All good now.

As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep last night, I couldn’t sleep.  This is typically never an issue for me. I am often found asleep in the car (passenger side – don’t freak out), on an airplane (don’t worry never in the cockpit), at the theater (never on a stranger’s shoulder), you name it. I wanted to blame it on my hubby snoring next to me, but I was wired. As I tried to settle down, I grabbed my phone from my nightstand which is usually in the kitchen at night, but post op because of being bed- bound, it was accessible. Another late nighter on social media suggested I try a meditation app, Insight Timer. So I did.  (Thank you Cynthia.)

I have practiced meditation for awhile now, but usually self guided. This app offers a wide variety of guided meditations, nature sounds, mantras and more. I was always so defensive about my practice, thinking I should not rely on earplugs to listen, or others help. Ridiculous. But we all come up with reasons that support our  resistance. Plus with the headphones, I could barely hear hubby’s snoring. I relaxed, let go and got to sleep. Just before I drifted off to snooze land my thought was, I want to write a blog tomorrow.

Today, I didn’t listen to the should voice, You should rest, you shouldn’t worry about writing. Screw you Mr. Should, Brother Resistance. Sister Synic, step aside, because I WANT to write. Tuning in to body, mind and spirit it felt right to write.

Where in you life are you letting shoulds push you when you don’t need to be pushed or hold you back when you don’t need to be held back? Is it time to tell Mr. or Mrs. Should to take a back seat? Perhaps you SHOULD put them in the passenger seat and tell them to take a nap.

Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit, who has been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone.  2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (sold out), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. info@mamaneedsarefill.com or www.mamaneedsarefill.com. 206 255 0463.