You don’t know you are at the end of your rope, until you are at the end of your rope, my friend told me as she quoted a friend, who heard it from someone, who had read it somewhere. She shared this with me because days earlier I had found the end of my rope. At that point I was on on week eight from recovering from foot surgery. This atypical pain journey piled on with life had got the best of me. Thank God, I know how to apply extreme self care. I ran the bath water, boiled the tea, called the friend, shut out everyone else and focused on me, myself and I. Then I did that the next day. And the next. Gratefully the family had been use to me not picking up the household needs and demands because of being bed bound for nearly five weeks. See, they took care of everything then and this was my wake up call that I was spreading myself thin by taking on too much and doing more than necessary.
Often you don’t know your cup is empty until your cup is empty.
I know the signs. I know the prescription. I wrote the book on the way to avoid it, but sometimes it needs to happen so that I can walk the talk and not just sell the Kool-Aid.
The time has come. I have spread myself too thin. Family and friends who know me well are not surprised. But for me, this is is how I have always been, the caregiver, the rescuer, the one with a ton of energy who s happy to help. This also leads me to another awareness, I am wired to be self-forgetting. Others first comes naturally. Slipping off the rope a couple of weeks ago, was my gift. A present to remind me that I am the only one in charge of how I use my energy. I get to do it differently than before. It is up to me where I spend my time, put in the effort, and show up. Often it is difficult to recognize the cup getting empty because you are so use to being in motion and operating on fumes. It’s what you know. Since I know the prescription, it is time to get it filled. Allow me to share it with you:
- Me First – Connect to my higher self, tune in to the Divinity within. Ask myself what I need and what I desire, listen to the answer.
- Less is More – Say no to others when yes doesn’t come from a place of peace and joy.
When planning your day, leave breathing room.
- Listen to my gut not my head – Although my head is wise, it gets shit done, it also causes me to make decisions for the wrong reasons. When I choose my answer by tuning in to my intuition, I am not led astray.
- Anchor myself to my intention – Decide on one to three words each day that tether me to the way I want to feel and accomplish being the person I want to be. (These only need to make sense to me.)
- How can I help? – Ask how can I serve, how can I bring light to another today? Really listen for the answer. Lately in my-spread-too-thin fashion, I keep hearing, “take care of you”, “slow down”. (I really keep hearing, “enough bitch, you don’t have to do it all,” but I didn’t want to freak you out.) Focus on what is in front of you. The best offering you can give another is by giving of your best self and that can’t be done when you have given and received nothing to yourself.
Standing with the rope at your feet or holding an empty cup isn’t horrible. It most certainly is not the end of the world. It is a beautiful wrapped gift of opportunity. And it will keep showing up until we receive its precious message.
So thank you very much, I get it, I don’t have to do and be everything. That’s what the rest of the people in this world are here for.
Hello! I’m Jenny Gwinn McGlothern, Certified Transformational Master Coach for your Life and Spirit. I have been leading retreats for women and coaching them since 2009. One of my favorite ways to fill my own cup is by writing. May my weekly blog give you a sip to reflect, a nugget to chew, a thought to refill. If it is an accountability partner you seek, I offer life and spiritual coaching for men, women, teenagers, and couples, in person in Seattle and by phone. 2017 Mini-retreats in West Seattle 9:30 – 2: June 2 (2 spots open), September 15 (4 seats left). Limited availability, register early. firstname.lastname@example.org or 206 255 0463.