Mama Needs a Refill

With starting a job this week I needed to plan ahead about my refills. A lot of things had to go out the window. Instead of sacrificing everything, I chose to make time for my physical cup. I would be getting less sleep, have more on my plate, I couldn’t let everything go.

I picked the number three and did yoga twice and went on a big walk another time. It meant waking up early, but so worth it. Three times this week I filled my physical cup need by moving my body, making time for that body-mind connection.

Small sips to stay grounded. Little tastes to keep my balanced.

This sake cup was a gift from a Japanese student I had years ago in Tokyo. The Japanese sip their sake...little sips satisfying their thirst.

Not a cat lover myself, but perhaps you are, if so ... cheers!

Every need is not your call.

My mom regularly visits the nursing home where my step-dad lived the last three and half years of his life.

Talking with her the other day fresh from her volunteer time at the nursing home she was all smiles.  Her cup full.

I just love being there, had some quality visits today, so glad I went,” she told me.

I listened in awe.

Then came my confession: I couldn’t do it mom. I get sad around old people, forgetting that she is 79.

I have a good friend who loves being around the elderly, I just don’t do well. I don’t know if it comes from having both my father and step-father die in nursing homes. Not sure if it is the smell, the helplessness I feel, or just that for me it so, so sad.

After my confession, came my mother’s wisdom: Every need is not your call.”

Huh?

She said the words again for me slowly.

Oh.

Oh. Oh, yes. That is so very true.  I don’t have to do it all, I don’t have to say yes to everything. My gifts are in other areas.

Honey, I remember when you use to visit that one difficult lady from church every month. I didn’t do well with her, but you volunteered to bring her communion for a number of years.

Well, I like difficult people.

We laughed. We laughed hard.

Different challenges fill us or empty us – you don’t have to say yes to something if it drains you – doesn’t call you, for there is no life in that.

Come discover your own unique ways to refill your cup at Mama Needs A Refill Mini-Retreats this fall.

Restorative Retreats For Women

Self-care is about nurturing yourself on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually – so you can live, love and parent optimally. -Renee Peterson Trudeau

Mama Needs A Refill is offering a new series this fall.

Come get away to a mini-retreat.  These Sack Lunch Retreats are designed to replenish,

rejuvenate and refill your empty cup in the amount of time you could clean one room in your house.

Greetings, I am your retreat leader, Jenny McGlothern, mother, wedding officiant, writer, experienced group leader. I began holding retreat for moms when I noticed how empty our cups were and how we put ourselves on the back burner with all of our nurturing. All women are in the nurturing role, taking care of others, but do we take care of ourselves?

Get away from your responsibilities in a relaxed environment and in just three hours discover your own unique ways of refilling your cup through sharing, laughter, silence, journaling and creativity.

For more information:

info@mamaneedsarefill.com

www.mamaneedsarefill.com

Even more than the coffee, I got my "fix" yesterday writing with a friend. The words, the silence, the sharing, the pen on the blank page....aahh, refilled cup for me.

We often want a quick fix. I haven’t taken time for me, I’m totally spent, kids are pushing my envelope, fill me up quick, help me now.

A couple weeks ago my son was feeling overwhelmed, the number of things AI asked him to do were crowding his brain and suffocating his big heart.

Mom, your ice is thin right now, he told me gritting his teeth.

My coffee snorted out of my nose. Of course like all poignant sayings that spill from his mouth this one came in a paraphrased version of my past words to him, You are walkin’ on thin ice buddy.

In moments of instability, high stress, mounting anxiety, chaos, we want a quick fix. When we feel empty we often reach for a quick filler: cup of coffee, glass of wine, handful of chocolate or chips. We react fast, seeking comfort in salt, sweets, alcohol, caffeine.

We KNOW these things won’t make the stress go away but they provide temporary comfort.

My son’s quick fix is a hug. Mama I can’t calm down until you hug me.

Mine is food-don’t touch me, give me something salty.

Even when we take care of our needs and create time every day for ourselves we can still have moments of needing a quick fix.

I am working on being more aware of my quick fix needs and discovering new alternatives.  (Crack-meth to obvious, the flask in the fleece inside pocket too heavy.)

Breathing works. Not the futile Lamaze breathing, but the one, long slow breath.

I am no longer slipping on ice, but standing on solid ground, my mouth not craving salt, my quick fix residing right in my soul. Waiting for me at the center of my being.

Perhaps not as fun as food or drugs at first. But after practice it’s “a piece of cake.”

On a recent family vacation I found this mug in the kitchen cupboard in the house we were renting. It is such a gift to discover or rediscover new sides to ourselves we forgot existed or never knew was possible.

 Every woman has more than one side to her. We aren’t just moms. We are dreamers, comediennes, therapists to our closest friends, magicians, problem solvers, dancers, artists.   We are women with a past living in a beautiful present that sometimes gets so clouded we don’t see the beauty in front of our face. If we would stop for just a second and take care of ourselves, figure out our needs, all would be a bit more clear and suddenly we would realize all this time we were holding our breath.

Starting something new today. Got the idea from my Heartwriter Blog, www.heartwriter.wordpress.com,  where I write a Monday’s Random Thought. Fridays on this website, I will post a random thought and hopefully it will refill your cup, add reflection to your day or inspiration to your heart.

One thing that was all mine this summer was reading. I am just about finished with A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and I feel like I am losing a friend. Francie, the heroine of the American Classic is growing up, she has just fallen in love for the first time and seems like yesterday she was eleven and climbing trees.

Even though I am nearly finished with the book I don’t have to feel like I am losing a friend. The escape the book provided me these summer days was life giving. A guaranteed refill. The story can always live with me, be a part of me. I read a few pages here and there throughout the day then in the evening the time was all mine to turn the pages and live in Francie’s world of growing up in Brooklyn in the early 1900’s.

Perhaps I am reading the book slowly because I don’t want summer to end. We never want good things to end do we? But with every good ending there are more good beginnings just waiting to start.

Maybe something good in your life is ending to make room for the next part of your journey.