Mama Needs a Refill

Nothing puts you more into the present like being sick. Last week I talked about being dog-like to get into the now.  Well, today, hopped up on saltine crackers, this weird stomach bug has me face to face with presence. I am doing what I want to be doing, reading, and not feeling guilty about it ‘cause I’m sick.  I’m reading a book I feel the author, Claire Dederer, wrote just for me. Poser…my Life In 23 Yoga Poses, is a lot about that, not getting it perfect.

For the last 24 hours the dishes had to pile up, no worries the hubby got them later, and I had to cancel my 2 volunteer shifts in the kindergarten class room, no one died.

Perhaps you don’t have the perfection gene or perhaps like me in your early 40’s you are on a journey toward evolution and working on shedding that gene or letting it mutate into something better…un-perfect beauty.

In Poser, Dederer talks about getting it all perfect and how that only brings about sadness, pain, confusion and a big mess.

Tonight is the school Spring Fling, I signed up to bake, but passing on a virus is not nice. The Fling won’t flop because I don’t bake a cake.

It’s finally sunny outside, I want to put in our vegetable garden that is now turning back into lawn.  It’s Friday, I want to get the house in order for the weekend so my family can come home to a perfectly clean home. The fridge is bordering empty, I want to make my weekly trip to Trader Joe’s.

Instead I will crawl back into bed with my saltines and good book knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Perfect.