Mama Needs a Refill

I went and saw the film Eat Pray Love on opening night. I read the book so expectations for the movie were low, books are always better and I didn’t see Julia pulling off the Liz Gilbert role.  Well, she did pull it off and the main message I took from the book came out in the movie.  In the protagonists search for peace and wisdom she discovered God was within, not something outside of herself but rather dwelling within.

We do this don’t we?  We search to be filled up with love, wisdom, peace, anything.  We look outside of ourselves to fill up that empty space.  We shop, we eat, we sleep, we drink, we exercise, we try this self-help book, we see a counselor, we pray to something above us, beyond us – out there.  All in aspiration to feed that hunger within.

Yes, I personally believe in a power bigger than us, in a God beyond us, but I also believe that God resides within us.

So if God resides within, so does the love, the wisdom, the peace we are in search of beyond us. The need to look so far and to turn away from ourselves is defeating the search.  The answers are within.  It is just up to us to clear away the gunk to hear the wisdom, to discover the peace and to find the love.

It starts with giving yourself time to sit with yourself instead of running.  Not easy, definitely scary, but oh so possible.

Start slowly.  Feed yourself something healthy, pray without words, just be. Then love yourself as you are instead of wanting to fix parts of you.  That’s what God does. She loves you as you are not wanting you to find a cure, but instead to delve down into your soul and fill yourself up with love.

My husband knew what he was getting into when he married me. He was marrying a gal who couldn’t sit still, would rather be in motion and loved to plan things.  Just as he was aware, I was cognizant of what I was getting into on my end.  I chose to spend my days with a homebody, a man whose idea of distressing means channel surfing on the couch and who prefers to not plan ahead.  One thing at a time for him, the more the merrier for me.  Bring it, I like to say.

Fast forward to children. And bring it, it did.

Last week I wanted to do it all in one day.  A trip to the zoo, school shoe shopping.  Too me these two things are nothin’, a walk in the park, (oh throw that in too), I thought there was room for even more activity, like cleaning out the kids’ bedroom closet, swimming the dog and hey, let’s solve World Hunger and the homeless situation in the U.S. while we are at it.

Good thing I stopped with caged animals and new shoes.  That was plenty – actually too much.  At dinner that night when the bickering started it was clear not only was I tired but so were my two children.  All that walking, observing, going, doing had worn us all out.  I left no room in the day for just sitting and being.

Just sitting and being with no agenda.  I used to get hives just thinking the thought.  The very idea left me shaking in my boots, itchy, highly uncomfortable.

I am learning that this very thing that made me vexed and irritated was what I needed most.  When I don’t leave room for nothing and I fill it all up with busyness, guess what happens? Yep, that dang cup gets emptied fast. 

Before you feel overwhelmed try it…try nothing and see how that fills your cup.

If you are like me you may already be sweating and find this to be a challenge, so just try nothing for a few minutes.  See what happens.  Then try it again.  If you are like my husband you are thrilled at this opportunity to do nothing.  Just sit, no remote no list in hand. Just be.

Does it rejuvenate? You may not see the results immediately but the next time kid chaos comes your way you may be more ready to have them bring it on, because you did nothing earlier.