Mama Needs a Refill

I have learned something vital the last month…a tidy house does not feed my soul. Sure it makes things run more smoothly, relieves some stress…but surprise I have had more of a full cup without a clean house than I thought even possible this summer. Running around with the kids, swim team, activities, out of town, packing snacks for soccer camp, making picnic dinners for swim meets, something had to go and it wasn’t going to be me. When we were home reading, writing, meditating filled my cup.

My soul is not fed with clean counters, a dust free piano, laundry piles put away.  It does however make me happy but happiness does not feed me, sustain me, nourish me deeply.  Happiness is fleeting and after days of a messy house and taking little moments of self-care, I found I am much better off than running around cleaning my house and ignoring the whisper within that says to sit down, read a book outside, play the piano, take a nap.

Sure I feel pleased, relieved to see my house in order but there is still something missing, I am not relaxed or filled with joy.  I know that if attending to my children’s needs happen and I ignore mine I just become bitchy and short tempered. And yes, don’t let me fool you, cleaning and keeping order comes more naturally than sitting and reading a book or writing in the middle of the day, but EVERYONE suffers when I listen to the “should” voice and not the whisper.  The whisper speaks lovingly and offers great suggestions, pick up your journal, read a magazine, start a new novel, write a letter, go for a walk, sit in the sun. Doing this even for a short time honors the Divine whisper which I believe is connected to my soul and the one that deserves nurturing over the “should” voice that just makes me weary.  It just takes practice listening to the whisper and with more practice it will be a lot easy to hear over the noise of the vacuum.