Lasting Presents
Last month I celebrated losing 24 lbs. by buying myself a bouquet of my favorite flowers. Tulips. A big bouquet, orange and white. When the tulips died a week later, I bought another bouquet, just because.
It felt good to be buying myself a present but of course at first there was hesitation, guilt. I buy my kids a pack of gum, new coloring pens, a packet of hair clips, just because and they are over the moon and I have no guilt.
I am working on getting to that place of love for myself. That after all is why I have been working on losing weight, getting healthy, being aware of what I put in my mouth and why.
The tulips filled me with joy those weeks they sat on our piano, offering color and hope. Joy from a simple bouquet of flowers? Yes. Perhaps they were a reminder that I have been getting healthy and putting myself first, perhaps it was just the simplicity of their beauty that struck happiness in my heart.
I have been looking for new coffee mugs but haven’t wanted to spend too much money on them. So the other day at Peet’s Coffee and Tea shop I found them, the big, brightly colored mugs I have been looking for, on sale. Before making an impulse purchase I sat in the shop sipping my cup of hot steaming goodness. I wrote in my journal, simply sat and looked around, enjoyed the quiet and really tasted my coffee instead of guzzling it down. When it was time to go, I saw the mugs again and without guilt or hesitation I bought four. Then at the cash register I saw a package of two chocolate covered caramels, I bought that too.
Filled with gratitude for the alone time I spent in the coffee shop and happy with my new purchase I drove to pick up my daughter from school. My daughter loves chocolate just as much as I love flowers so when I pulled the chocolate out of my purse her eyes danced, she licked her lips. Together we shared the sweetness of the chocolate covered caramel and the flavor of the big grains of salt sprinkled on top.
The flowers, mugs, and chocolate didn’t bring me joy, but what they represent certainly did. I acknowledged my worthiness by buying myself little gifts. The flowers and chocolate of course are gone. I will sip many cups of tea and share many good conversations with friends and family as we drink something hot and soothing from these mugs. It won’t be the mugs that bring joy it will be the honoring of myself that does. Aware that I am worthy of sitting down, sipping, enjoying, being. Showing my children that I need nurturing too is a lasting gift I can give them.
